How to take it slow...?

[CamaroJoe]

First of all, I'd just like to say that the term 'dating' is used way too loosely. To me, 'dating' a person means you are going out on actually dates but are not together per se. However, I more often than not hear people say "they are dating" or "we are dating" as being 'together'.

 

But I digress...There is this girl, C, that i've been liking since the first day I saw her. I think she originally had a boyfriend but now she's single. I made a point that I was going to get this girl; which I've never done before. It was actually kind of funny because she started flirting with me first. She works at the same place I do but not in the same department, in fact I hardly ever see her there unless I make a point to. And she would be walking in and then suddenly drop her keys or something like that when she knew I was behind her.

 

So we started talking and we've been out twice. Just after work we'd go out for a drink or two. Well, on our second date, which was last thursday, I leaned in to kiss her. She put her head down and smiled. And I go "What?" and she says "I'm just being shy." Well, I just took that as an invitation to try to kiss her again. lol Well, she did it again. She put her head down and this time she kind of giggled. So I go "What?" with a smile. She's like "Don't take it personally." And I'm like "Don't take it personally? What? You don't like me like that?" And she replies "It's not like that. Don't take it personally." And she said something about it being too soon. And I didn't want to press the issue so I said "Oh ok. Normally though, if a man leans in to kiss a woman and she doesn't kiss him, it means she doesn't like him." (Actually, I'm not real sure where the 'it's too soon' comment came. I was too caught up in the momment. lol)...So after my latest comment she goes "fine!" And grabs my shirt and pulls herself to me and pretty much sucks my face off.

 

I'm thinking 'woa! I just wanted a soft sensual kiss and here she is sucking the lips off my face after she rejected me twice' lol

 

But anyway, she's already mentioned she like to take it slow. But I've never done that before so it's just weird to me. I saw her yesterday for a few minutes but other than that, I haven't talked to her much since last thursday. She was supposed to go out with me to a Comedy Club saturday night but she had to baby-sit. I guess I'm just looking for some encouragement and if this seems like a natural progression? Like I said, I've never really done the whole 'dating' thing. It was always, meet, talk, go home, yeah..., and then we were together. lol But I really like her so I don't care how long it take I just don't want to get to the point where we start drifting apart because we are taking it TOO slow.

 

Any words of encouragement or advice on what to do next as far as progressing the relationship but not pressuring her to take it too far too fast for her part?

[Beec]

Sounds good. My best relationships started slow, lasted the longest. The ones that start hot, usually burned out fast.

 

Her behavior was a little weird, but she did kiss you, so take it as that.

 

I would recommend one thing, find someone else to date for a while, as well as seeing her. A rotation helps in these situations.

[Dating Coach]

Don't get too absorbed in what she says. The best way to do it is to go forward with actions (don't talk about it too much). Before jumping to conclusions about what I just said, read on.

 

Example: if she says it's too soon to kiss when you lean in, then respect that and stop, but the next date, try again if the moment is there. If she stops you, then stop. But try again the next time.

 

My fiance' doesn't move fast either, and she stopped me from a kiss a few times when we first started dating. I showed her respect by accepting her feelings, but the next date it when I thought there was a moment it was time to try again. She stopped me again and I waited until the next time. Why did I do this?

 

I've been in several situations in the past when dating and when a girl said that I completely stopped trying to advance the relationship forward... and instead of trying again later I sat there until she took the initiative to let me know when she was ready. Everytime I was dumped. Women respond better by a guy who confidently moves forward-as long as he respects her.

Now this is a thin line, if you disrespect her by being pushy, they will dump you because that's wrong. That's why you stop when she suggests, but the next time you go out it's time to show that you are confident and you like her by going to the kiss again.