question for ppl with relations

[notalone_user]

Hi,

 

Has it ever become a problem in your relationship that your partner feels intimated by you making more money than them.

 

What i am trying to ask is do relationships work out where the guy doesnt has a stable job but the girl is getting showered with money. So when trying to find a partner should we go only for ones with same financial level or is it not a big deal.

 

I hope noone minds me talking business here.

[Dako]

Makes no diff to me unless it does to her.

I've been there, done that in either way.

It's just money.

 

Depends on your values, I guess.

[renaissancewoman101]

My ex had a problem with me making more money than him and living on my own. In the beginning, he was flattered that someone like me would be interested in him. My ex was like a little kid, although he was 4 months older than me. He lived at home and worked at a retail job. He didnt drive and never wanted to learn how to drive.

 

As time went on, he resented the fact that I made more and could afford to do more. He wanted to "provide" for me, like he did his exes. But there was no way he could financially. It caused fights between us and had a part in why he broke up with me.

 

It all depends on the maturity of the people involved.

[caro33]

The maturity and the ego I think. But perhaps also the cultural expectation, the attitude toward traditional roles and being the 'provider'.

 

Thing is, I'm sure we all know people from every extreme, and have horror stories of all sorts. I think it's a major issue of value alignment, the whole attitude toward money and the myriad of issues it brings up.

 

Things to avoid:

- Relationship where one ends up being somewhat financially dependent on the other and resents them for it.

- Relationship where one ends up being somewhat financially dependent on the other and exploits the situation shamelessly.

- Relationship where one's attitudes toward money and the financial independence it allows the other person doesn't sit with their belief about the independence the other SHOULD have.

 

Surely there's more....

 

So I think a mature relationship just accepts that money in and out is a fluid situation and there are swings and roundabouts to these things. That is, the one who makes the money now might not be the one with all the money later. As long as there's enough to get by and perhaps have some savings, focus instead on the easy stuff, like different beliefs about religion, family, education etc

[forza2]

I used to care about money alot, now I make good money and dont care if my future girlfriend makes millions of dollars a year and I'm not (Just yet

 

I have realized that sure money buys alotta things you need, but isn't as important as having a good relationship, but still to have a good life you need money and to me it doesn't matter if the girl or the guy makes more as long as they're happy together.