My bf and I are slowly... getting back together

[MyTeddyBear]

We have been talking things over and we plan on seeing each other this weekend.

I can't help but wonder if I let him off too easy. He knows the pain he put me through, but I don't tell him how I was truly devastated. I feel like I'm afraid to. Maybe I'm scared this will push him away.

Should I share my feeling this weekend. Or should I wait a while? I feel like our whole relationship has changed. And it has.... It's like starting over and I'm not sure if bringing up the past is such a good start.

When should I talk about how it affected me when he left?

Any advice?

[onelittleladybug]

Hi there

 

I cant advice you about timing. I just want to share with you an advice that my dad gave me once. Something came up in my relationship with my ex, we were completely equally to blame and it was painful for us both but I kinda blamed my ex more for a while. I called my dad and asked him how to get over it. He said that it was really important in a relationship when someone gets hurt you talk about it and then you bury it. You completely let go of it. I didnt do this completely and I think that is a huge factor in why Im broken up now. We may work things out but thats another story. Anyway, my advice is if you want to get back together with your ex you have to forgive him completely. Theres no other way to do it.

 

I like to ask people who are in long term relationships or married for advice on relationships. I dont go to the people who are always single. Most people Ive asked have given similar advice on things like this.

[forza2]

We have been talking things over and we plan on seeing each other this weekend.

I can't help but wonder if I let him off too easy. He knows the pain he put me through, but I don't tell him how I was truly devastated. I feel like I'm afraid to. Maybe I'm scared this will push him away.

Should I share my feeling this weekend. Or should I wait a while? I feel like our whole relationship has changed. And it has.... It's like starting over and I'm not sure if bringing up the past is such a good start.

When should I talk about how it affected me when he left?

Any advice?

 

If he did it before, he'll do it again as soon as the opportunity arises. Just like some one who cheats on his/her partner. If you take a cheater back it means that you OK it and he/she will do it again. I say go date other people, find others and move on. Let him keep him self as an option for you.

[laboheme]

I feel like our whole relationship has changed. And it has.... It's like starting over and I'm not sure if bringing up the past is such a good start.

When should I talk about how it affected me when he left?

Any advice?

 

It's not just like starting over...it IS starting over. It's a new relationship, but it's tricky because while you need to get to know each other all over again, you also need to address old issues...My own opinions are mixed on this, and more experienced people might give you better advice, but...

 

I think you should only bring up your feelings if he does it first, or if you are 100% positive that you can talk about it calmly and rationally. If you break down in tears while talking about the past, it's not going to look terribly attractive and might push him away.

 

I would personally use the first few conversations/meetings to reconnect with each other and see if there's a possibility for a new relationship. Once you feel that you really are "back together," then you can talk about the actual relationship. After all, new couples usually only start talking about the relationship once they've established that they are official. But in a situation like yours, the timing is tricky...Bring it up too soon and it might backfire, but wait too long and the same problems will emerge...

 

Good luck figuring it all out!

[MorganX]

I'm in a similar situation but I haven't reached the point of actually getting together with my ex. You'll have to talk about things at some point, but it might be best to leave that until you've established a rapport once again. It's a GREAT sign that you're both willing to reconnect and get together. You'll know when it's the right time to bring up the past.

 

Good luck.

[journey05]

--Forza2--

 

Ehhh..sorry but I can't agree with you on this one.

Take your old mans advice and if you truly want to forgive him and can then do it. If you jump back in it knowing that this is something that cannot be forgiven then...well thats a whole other kind of monster.

But yes, tell him exactly how that made you feel and how you feel now. Don't hold back.

Sometimes people do stupid,arrogant and idiotic things. (Mostly to those closest to them). And sometimes it takes losing the ones closest to them to realize what they have done. People can change but don't be a fool...Its your choice.