relationship ended and I am devastated

[Brakalaka]

Hello. This is my first time posting something here and I guess I wanted some advice from someone who doesnt know me and my situation so I can get an honest answer. Here is my story. I began a correspondence with a man who was actually my ex-boyfriend's friend. We started talking while we were still together (cause he would call to talk to my then boyfriend, but sometimes he wasnt home and we just ended up talking) and when the relationship ended, we continued talking. We talked for quite some time. The conversations became more and more intense as we established a strong friendship and bond with our words. I began to feel some connection with him and when he said he was coming to visit so we could meet, I was thrilled. I went to meet him at the airport and I saw him for the first time. I was completely floored. He was absolutely adorable and upon our first meeting, we were both so nervous that we cracked jokes together and experienced a little awkwardness, but not for long. The first couple of days were innocent enough, but we spent more time together and we ended up kissing the second night. We spent a lot of time together the week he was here, but he was from a diferent state and said he did not want a long distance relationship. I was saddened, but hoped for the best. After he left, we continued talking and got closer. I went out there to visit him a couple of months later and the week I spent there was complete bliss. That is the week that we fell in love with each other. It was magic. We went to Mexico together and had the best time. He told me he loved me and I was thrilled. We had so much in common. We had the same musical tastes and the same geeky senses of humor. I felt so alive being with him. I really thought he was going to be the one for me. I had never experienced love like that before. Leaving him was very difficult and be both cried when I left. The conversations were pretty intense after I came home and he told me he was completely in love with me. He talked about moving out here, but I told him that after my last semester of college (which was 6 months away), that I would move out there to be with him. Well, a couple of monthes went by and things began to change little by little. We still talked often, but I noticed he was being wishy washy about things. He told me he was thinking of moving out where I was because he just missed me too much. Then, he would change his mind. I got upset with him one night after I had been drinking and we didnt talk for a few days. He was due to come visit me the next month, but little by little he called less and our conversations sometimes included arguments. because he was so wishy washy about things, I would ask him how he felt, and I think he resented that. I couldnt help it, though! He was constantly changing his mind and I was so worried that he was going to call me up one day and just break it off. Well, he came into town 2 weeks ago for 6 days and the start of the visit was good. He gave me presents and we were both really happy to be with each other. Everything felt alright and I felt like I had overreacted about things. He was still being wishy washy though, saying one day he was still thinking of moving here and then the next would talk about how he was going apartment shopping in California when he got back. One night (the night before he left), I asked him if there was anything I could do to make him stay and he got so mad! He was silent for a while and then started yelling at me telling me I was constantly "testing" him. I was completely bloen away. How could he get mad when I was just expressing to him that I wanted him here because I loved him? We got in this huge fight and he ended up saying that he wasnt sure things were going to work out and so on...........He also said that sometimes he felt like he was wasting his time in a long distance relationship. I was devastated at his words. He had never been this cruel to me before and I fought to hold back the tears. I told him that he should just end it right then if he was uncertain and that I would go on with my life. he thought for a moment and then told me that he loved me and wanted to be with me because he saw something special in me. Well, the next morning he said he was sorry for the argument the night before and that everything would be alright. He told me he loved me, everything was going to be alright, and he would call me when he got in that evening. Needless to say he never called and he sent me an e-mail the following evening telling me he didnt call because he didnt know what to say and that he needed time, but he was sorry and that maybe I was feeling the same way. I was really upset and I wrote him an e-mail back that said that maybe I could make things easier for him. I couldnt do this any longer as long as he didnt know what it was that he wanted. I also told him he should call me when he is ready to talk. I promised myself I would leave him alone and not call or write and it has been a week and I have heard absolutely nothing. I figured I would wait another week even though the pain is so horrible because I miss him so much and I just dont know what went wrong. Should I wait another week and then call him? Should I not? What do I do? I have no idea. I am so hurt because I thought he was the one. I am a slightly neurotic artsy type and I dont date very often. It pains me to think we will never talk again. I have decided to move to New York City instead of where he is at and he doesnt know this yet. I just cant put my life on hold for him, but I still dont want to lose him. I have never, ever been able to go more than 4 days without calling him or talking to him. This feels so weird. PLease help with advice!

[Chillyfrog]

There is always someone who is the one...and then there is someone who is REALLY BETTER THEN THE ONE. Seems hes not too sure about you so honestly he is not the ONE....Trust me..Ive been threw it.