2's company - 3's a crowd

[heartbroken78]

I'm currently 28 and I've been friends with M since Grade 2 - when M and I continued to High School, we met L and after that the 3 of us have been good friends.

 

To make a long story short after high school M decided to move to Holland. L didn't keep contact with her, but M and I emailed each other everyday, we kept in touch often and M told me that she was so thankful for me keeping in touch with her, as she was in a strange country and really enjoyed having some sort of contact with 'home' - for 7 years we stayed in contact and eventually she returned back home to live with her dutch boyfriend.

 

On returning L started contacting her and they rekindled their friendship - L and I had been friends throughout M being overseas - After a couple of weeks I noticed that M would want to hang out more with L and reguarly I would call them they'd be shopping together or having get togethers at their houses, but not inviting me.

 

Obviously I started taking this personally and asked them what was wrong with me that I didn't get invited and was told by M that because we kept in contact all that time, she had a lot of 'catching up' to do with L for lost time!!!!! I was quite shocked at this excuse - Eventulaly it would get to the point where they would lie to me eg. I'd ask them what they did on the weekend and they'd say nothing, but then I'd see photos of them together taken the weekend before that they were doing 'nothing'.

 

I eventually confronted M again about this and wanted to know why she was hurting me like this after I had been such a good friend to her, now that she was back it felt like she just dropped me. I was then told that L and her have more in common (which they dont) - she used the example of them having the same eating patterns - talk about trying to dig for something!!!

 

I did notice however, that they liked drinking a lot together and I didn't drink as much as them, so thereforeeee my partner and I weren't included - I just thought that our friendship was more than getting drunk together!! I see best friends as going through life without having to have something in common all the time. Best friends is about going through all life stages and sticking together, not only when you have something in common with someone.

 

Since being told this I've told both girls to get out of my life - Its been a month since I last spoke to them - neither has contacted me either - Its very difficult to one day have friends that you talk to almost every day and that you've known for so long and then to all of a sudden have no-one!

 

Do you think I've done the right thing - if yes, how do I walk away from this and reailse that I'm better off without people like this in my life?

[Fallout]

It's quite sad to see things like these happening...you definitely did the right thing, they seem like those kind of "friends" that use you to have fun but don't care about you...sorry this happened to you, what else can I say but better luck with your next friends...

[southerngirl]

It sounds like their common bond is getting drunk together.

 

I think you did the right thing, you are right they were not treating you like a friend.

 

The longer that they have waited and not contacted you further proves it.

 

Good Luck in finding some new friends it is hard what your going through, and Im sorry.

[Anna.]

Yeah I think you did the right thing, b/c they were not being considerate of your feelings at all. Either they will realize the error of their ways and apologize or they won't; in which case, they were not true friends anyway. Good luck.