hulk7280 Posted September 29, 2006 Share Posted September 29, 2006 well im going to make this my personal journal. I have been in such heart break since me and my ex split up on 08-03-06.. we had been on and off for about a year.. then i found out she was seeing someone behind my back and ended it.. well we have been lc for a couple weeks then i went nc for awile.. then recenty met up with her two weeks and made out.. and damn bad idea.. we have been talkin for the last two weeks ... she broke up with the guy she was seeing behind my back a week ago(funny thing he treated her like * * * *) i think she realised the grass isnt greener on the other side.. well we have been talking... but not like b4 and i took her out to dinner last night she wouldnt kiss me good night and was on her cell phone the whole night just totatlly disrespecting me.. so i wrote her an email saying i didnt want to talk to her anymore because i cant just be her friend and i wont be strung a long.. and then i * * * *ing contact her the same day like a * * * * * * *! i said i wanted to try and be friends..(when in reality my intentions were that she would fall for me again) i know dumb move... now i realize i need to get ahold of myself and move on.. i really just have to move on and accept the fact we will never be once and for all.. i want to be the person i was b4 we ever got together and had feelings for her and the only way that will happen is NC. I vow for the next 30 days.. i will not text, call, or email her. i will not look on her myspace. i will not respond to any of her texts, emails or calls if she does try and contact me. that is my vow to everyone on here. i will update everday.. and after my 30 days i hope to be strong enough to continue without her.. i finally want to be done with the curse that is my ex that haunts my heart and brain. i want my life back, i want to be strong again, i want to be able to love again, i dont want the pain anymore, so i turn to NC to heal me.. day 1 starts friday september 29th.. join on my journey to heal... and if u are like me join on the band wagon and heal with me do not hesitate and do not waste ur time on hopes and dreams of ur ex coming back..heal now because time is the precious resource we all have.. i know it will be tough, but i know i can make it with everyone support. thank you for everyone here for your thoughts and insights. i only wish i would have done this sooner so i could have healed by now.... Link to comment
spaulding18 Posted September 29, 2006 Share Posted September 29, 2006 Good for you man. Trust me it will only help. When the month is over you will just want to keep the streak going. Don't be with someone who shows blatant disrespect. You wouldn't do that to someone so why should it be done to you right? With this you'll be back to yourself a lot faster then if you carried on with the games. Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted September 29, 2006 Author Share Posted September 29, 2006 yes i know i only wish i would have done it sooner and not wasted times.. i always knew in my head she would never be for me.. but in my heart i wanted to believe love would change her.. sometimes in these matters u really have to listen to ur brain, because love will blind u Link to comment
rightfromthestart Posted September 29, 2006 Share Posted September 29, 2006 i must be the only one that believes NC is the worst thing for healing and reconnecting. i went thru a 6 month period of that, not of my own doing, and all it did was erase things instead of healing. see, i kept being vocal and inclusive, engaged third parties for unbias answers, i didn't let that wall silence me and i think someone heals and forgives when they are faced with the outcome of their decisions on a daily basis. that way u have to own up to your faults and weakness not just internally but externally. i don't think i would be where i am now if i had been the dumper and went directly into NC. Just my 2 cents. Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted September 29, 2006 Author Share Posted September 29, 2006 i must be the only one that believes NC is the worst thing for healing and reconnecting. i went thru a 6 month period of that, not of my own doing, and all it did was erase things instead of healing. see, i kept being vocal and inclusive, engaged third parties for unbias answers, i didn't let that wall silence me and i think someone heals and forgives when they are faced with the outcome of their decisions on a daily basis. that way u have to own up to your faults and weakness not just internally but externally. i don't think i would be where i am now if i had been the dumper and went directly into NC. Just my 2 cents. well i think were u failed with ur nc is u were looking for things through a third party perspective.. even though u werent talkin to ur ex.. u still wanted to know and care what they were doing.. the point is to let go of it all.. everythign that has to do with there life.. and not care anymore and not seek any answers.. the answer is right in front of ur face.. its over.. now move on.. Link to comment
rightfromthestart Posted September 29, 2006 Share Posted September 29, 2006 i never went NC - i kept all lines of communication as open as i could. third party opinions are helpful because they can see and tell u things u don't see when emotions run high. i don't think either of us failed. i am sure NC worked for my ex. see, the problem with NC is one makes that decision and the other is forced to work around that. that makes your resourceful and instead of focussing on a moment frozen in time and healing just yourself, you see everyone else involved - family, friends, children, etc. it takes you outside the bubble. not the reverse. so, in one way, having that imposed on you is a form of NC - only if you use it as the other is - its like a weapon - a sword instead of a pen. just my 2 cents tho. everyone is unique. Link to comment
poetsheart Posted September 29, 2006 Share Posted September 29, 2006 You can do it... be strong... we have all gone through this.... Keep strong, and if you feel the need to contact, jump on here and type away, let it all out, but go hard, go strong, go nc if that's what you really want. Everyone here will support you!!! Link to comment
rightfromthestart Posted September 29, 2006 Share Posted September 29, 2006 i agree,....everyone makes their own decision...i would not tell u what is best for you - just show u both sides of the coin....u pick... Link to comment
bobo85 Posted September 29, 2006 Share Posted September 29, 2006 good luck man I found it that the first 7 days are probably the hardest... you will probably have a set back around the 15th day too but after 25 days...its coasting from there.... and you will probably want to keep NC for 6 months or a year. Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted September 29, 2006 Author Share Posted September 29, 2006 good luck man I found it that the first 7 days are probably the hardest... you will probably have a set back around the 15th day too but after 25 days...its coasting from there.... and you will probably want to keep NC for 6 months or a year. i plan on keeping nc forever.. Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted September 29, 2006 Author Share Posted September 29, 2006 well i have been laying and bed thinking about to embark on day 1 of nc.. and i look back at everything and how she treated me and treats me.. i mean how rude of it of someone to just sit there and text message and talk to other people when your having dinner.. she has no respect for me, so either i will have enough respect for myself and remove myself from the situation or i will keep getting treated like that.. nc all the way and if i ever feel like contacting her.. i will read this thread and remember the progress i made. Link to comment
whoops Posted September 29, 2006 Share Posted September 29, 2006 I am meeting on the weekend to say tata - is that bad? i made it clear i cant be pals after this so i will say bye now and then he leaves for pastures new. I wasnt going to and bit worried about it but think it needs to be done although i feel really good right now about break up - as decisions had to be made and i think i grieved over a few months ago so the finality of it has made me feel happy.- is that wrong! Link to comment
sparkle1 Posted September 29, 2006 Share Posted September 29, 2006 Be prepared to hit a couple of 'walls' and 'weakness' and don't beat yourself up for that. giving yourself a 'time' will keep you going...but be aware that you will need to see the longer term goal in the same prespective. No contact is hard. it goes against everything you want....but its the only way to truly break free... and at the end of the day - we all want freedom to move on and find our next 'special person' I wish you all the luck in the world....you're very strong - and keep reminding yourself of the reasons for why you are doing it. You are saving yourself. HUGS X Link to comment
Collision Posted September 30, 2006 Share Posted September 30, 2006 Hulk- Big time support to you for what you are doing. I am going through the exact same tough time you are right now. NC is tough but it is the way to heal. I started my NC as of Wednesday. Hang in there and know that there are others dealing with the same feelings. I'll be following this thread to chime in here and there... Link to comment
gumdrops_and_lollipops Posted September 30, 2006 Share Posted September 30, 2006 Just a quick note...I agree with rightfromthestart...For me NC just means sitting home and trying to figure out the whys and whatever elses. I was seeing this guy for over 2 years LD and then one day he decides not to talk to me..No its over...not a phone call...NOTHING. So I think that NC will bug him and make him respond...Nope...Nothing until he was good and ready one night and sent me an Im sorry..been busy message on my phone. I dont want the NC...email text BS ...Grow up and talk like 2 intelligent adults...Say what you need to say and MOVE ON!!! Link to comment
Collision Posted October 2, 2006 Share Posted October 2, 2006 Yo Hulk...how you doing today? Link to comment
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