friend self mutalatin her self ova a boy

[DeMi_BoY]

like tha subject says she was gettin ova this guy cause he says he loves her but doesnt want to go anywhere with it and she gets really upset cause he will stop talkin to her for ages and the nstart and it tears her up inside and i hate seein her like this... anyway any adivce as to what ishould say to her would help alot thx pplz

 

DeMi_BoY

[owlman]

Hey Demi-Boy,

I'm assuming that you're talking about mutilation in the terms of cutting, or something like that? Can you give a little more info?

Just based on what you've said and what I'm assuming here, you're friend may be a suicide risk. I don't know how often self-mutilation progresses that far, but please talk to her, let her know you care.

[DeMi_BoY]

yeah she already cut a heart into her hand and it was there for ages and she reacient put a new on there

[sabena]

ok...self harm is quite a difficult subject to approach and its all very well people telling you to go up to this girl and sit her down and talk with her...etc...it's a hard one.

 

Coming from a medical professions point of view, talking is difficult because often the self harmer doesn't realise the extent to which they are harming themselves and also for them its a release. Just like me or you would go and scream and out or go for a walk, for a self harmer this is their release and getting this girl to talk to you may actually be very very difficult.

 

Often, and even if the person is new to self harming, there is often a really big issue underneath. 95% of all self harmers who attended UK NHS A & E actually had an abuse problem in the past.You say she is taking the break up bad, but there may actually be another reaon as to the self harm which could stem from way back in her past.

 

What I would suggest that you do is a couple of things, be supportive of her and be there for her even though you may disagree with what she is doing to herself, when you see the marks tell her that she should check for infection, ask her if she has ever thought of getting a little support from either a self harm group or counsellor. If able watch for the marks that she may hide, as these are actually more serious than the ones that she parades in public view. If you do want to talk with her ask her what she feels before during and after cutting or harming herself. You need to gain a little insight into what she is feeling before taking this anywhere else.

 

As for the suicide problem? What problem? Just because someone self harms does not automatically place them under suicide risk, and although there is a higher risk of suicides within this category, it is only marginally higher than for the rest of the population and in fact normal 18-25 men have a higher incidence of suicide than self harmers.

 

You just need to realise that this is her way of dealing with stress, as alarming and shocking as it may be. If you feel it necessary to inform her family, be very careful of this as she may be extremely angry at you and this may aggrevate the harming even more.

 

Hope this helps

[DeMi_BoY]

thanks pplz, and i would neva bring this up with her family for the sake that i dont want to make things worst, but she knows i am here for her and i have told her alot and everytime i talk to her i tell her in some way that i will always be there for her

 

 

oh and her and this boy arnt'/ were together eva

[segagirl]

Hey there, I think what everyone already said is good. I just wanted you to take a look at this web site. If she is at all interested in learning, or reading...this would be a great place for her to start. Also a great resource for you.

 

link removed

[DeMi_BoY]

Hey everyone, thanks for you insight on the matter, now i have a betta understanding on the subject...

 

i just thought i should find out what could be done cause i really care for this girl very much.

 

anyway thx again,

 

DeMi_BoY