Big decision-Long distance rlshp?

[loveydovey]

Please Read: VERY SHORT; MEN & WOMEN HELP. My bf and I have been together for over a year. The big question is "Do I stay or do I leave"? Here's some background info.

 

We were in the same state, different cities, different colleges. Due to Hurricane Katrina, he came to my city, lived with me, and went to school in my city for approx 4 months. At the beginning of this year he went back to his original college to finish out his final semester in school. We both graduated in the spring. Immediately after graduating, he moved back to his hometown which is in a different state. He feels, and has told me, that he will be in his hometown indefinitely.

 

Now, I have tried to discuss the future of our rlshp with him, but he thinks it best if we take it one day at a time. Because he left and we are now faced with LDR issues, I think its important that we discuss where this relationship is going. I have tried to talk to him about this for the past 2 months, but because nothing has changed and it doesnt appear that it will ever change, I told him that I needed a break from the relationship.

 

Am I just being an overly-demanding girlfriend? Am I wrong for feeling this way?

[Yvette84]

are you willing to move? because if neither of you are...then you're never going to be happy. My boyfriend lives in Michigan and I'm in california (accross the country) and he is moving here for me. I believe if it is real and you are both in love. One of you will move. But since he is the one that left you, he needs to decide what is most important to him.

[loveydovey]

are you willing to move? because if neither of you are...then you're never going to be happy. My boyfriend lives in Michigan and I'm in california (accross the country) and he is moving here for me. I believe if it is real and you are both in love. One of you will move. But since he is the one that left you, he needs to decide what is most important to him.

 

See this is exactly how I feel. And I think that is what hurt me the most. I am willing to move, but without much opinion from him. To him its "If you move here, great! If you don't, then I understand" To me, thats not good enough if we're supposed to be in love and want some kind of future together. He moved to his hometown and is currently looking for work in his major. However he hasn't really found anything yet and it's been FOUR MONTHS since he finished school. So, it's not like he moved back to his hometown because of a job, he just moved because he felt it's where he's "called to be right now".

[Yvette84]

hhmm.....can't he find work where you're at? is he really close to his family?? (if so, that could be a big part of it) I dunno, would he be happy in a long distance relationship??? It doesn't sound like you would be. and I wouldn't be either.

[Momene]

If you read this board, you'll know what my opinion on "breaks" is. The message I'm reading is that you're not the most important person in his life at the moment. At the one year + mark and with you both graduating, maybe marriage is a bit too soon but it's not too soon to want to know where the relationship is heading. Tell him you need answers and if he can't come up with them within a month, he's history.