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Caught between the two

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My emotions and feelings always tend to overcome everything I do no matter how hard I try to ignore them. Also, I tend to have my feelings kept to myself because of my ex-husband, who was very abusive and very controlling. Now that I have moved on from that marriage, I was invovled with some1 else during my separation, I realized I just wanted some1 as a rebound or maybe someone I wanted to hurt to make myself feel better. Of course, I didn't have that heart to hurt some1 the way I was hurt, but he was there for me at all times, no matter what. I was seeing this guy for about 6 months and I grow to understand men all over again because of him. I never loved him though, although I did say I loved him because I didn't want to hurt him. I loved him, but wasn't inlove with him because I was trying to get over my ex-husband at that time. So it was very hard.


This guy was very caring and did things I never imagined a guy could do for me. I never had a guy that treating me with so much respect as much as he did so it was all new to me. He understood everything, and I would tell him everything me and how I was very hurt, that didn't seem to bother him the fact that I still had feelings for some1 else. I was very confused at that time and didn't know actually what to do. I had alot going on in my life and felt like I wasn't putting 100% into the relationship. I had to break it off and I told him I still wanted to be friends until everything was completely over with my divorce. He understood and said that he would be there for me still. And he was, but I didn't want him hanging there, so I told him that it was okay to see other girls. Well months passed by, and He decided not to talk to me anymore. He wanted to put our friendship on pause just like i asked him to put our relationship on pause. I was shocked because he was my best friend and he was the one that would always make me feel good when I was down. So to lose that was very hard for me.


I started to date and so did he. I'm now with a relationship with some1 else and so is he. At first, I thought that I didn't need him anymore, but I keep comparing him to the guy i'm seeing now. I seems to always remember little things that meant so much to us at that time. So now all memories are coming back to me, but then again, I have feelings for this one guy I'm now seeing. I don't know what to do. I don't know if this is just a faze, but it's been about a month and the feeling is not going away.


I txt him a few days ago, just to see how he was doing after not contacting him for 4 months. We're now txting eachother back and forth, but he has someone now. He said that we can't hang out, but he still wants to be friends. I am okay with that, but it just hurts knowing he has some1 else. It was fault for letting him go, but at that time I just didn't know what to do. And still, I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should just ignore this feeling and just let it be. Or should I tell him how I feel?

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Whooooooaaa easy soldier.


He is happy and moved on now, you've realised a little bit too late in my eyes.


You seem very together and aware of the situation, imagine it was the other way around and he dropped it on you.


You may live happily ever after if you did but the chances would be much better if you waited his relationship out...


Also, you seem to be in a relationship you're happy in but the fact you're torn isn't a good sign.


I'd really really think before you act, the fact he won't see you as a friend to hang out might mean he is in love and doesn't want to hurt her. On the other hand his new girlfriend could be the jealous type......


I really feel for you.

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Some crazy stuff, I know lol


But why isn't this feeling dissappearing? I still don't know why I still miss him or why all of the sudden I started to think about him. When I'm around the guy I'm now seeing, I'm happy, but he doesn't make me feel the way the other guy used to make me feel. That's when I start to compare and miss that feeling of having some1 loving me.


I haven't txt him lately so I guess I'm just waiting for him to txt me instead, but he hasn't. Does that mean he doesn't care anymore?

He also has too much pride to take the first step because he's afraid of rejection.


I'm so confused! I don't want to feel this way because I like being honest with the one I'm with and this relationship Im in, He doesn't know I had contact with my ex. I want to tell him, but I don't because I don't want to make him mad.

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You don't need to tell him you had contact with your ex, you were testing the water but nothing happened.


Problem is you kind of lost any rights to this guy when you broke it off with him and I can tell you that anyone whose dumped me and then 'realised' has always gotten two words and the first is rude and the second is off


I guess if you wanted my opinion i'd say learn from it and move on. I can also see the merits of telling him how you feel though, so long as you're prepared for the worst possible outcome.

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