What do I say to women I meet for first time?

[atraceofblood]

I was wondering what methods you guys use to talk girls you are interested in for the very first time? What do you say to introduce yourself and for short conversations? Do you ask for contact information during your first meeting or do you wait a bit?

 

I've done this before a few times, but for some reason I am still very shy at it. I admit I need to get the guts to do it, but I'm still worried about what I'm saying.

 

I can understand just saying Hi to a girl, but I worry about what to say next because I don't know what else to talk about other than introducing myself. I mean I can talk about school and classes, but that's so generic because everyone does that. haha

 

what do you guys think?

[friscodj]

Hey bro, survey the situation and find something interesting about it. What do you see? Something funny? Something silly? Something cool? Something otherwise out-of-the-ordinary? Find something, be yourself, smile, start talking to her, see how she responds and go from there.

 

As for asking for the digits, that depends. Will you ever see her again? If not, what are you going to do? You've got to do something, right? If you anticipate seeing her again, I'd walk away from the first one with just an introduction and wait until you see her the next time to take it to the next level...see if she remembers you and see how she responds...

 

It takes guts, dude, it is freaking hard. Just go into it without expectation...who cares? You're just talking to someone that's all...and if nothing comes of it, you'll forget about it the next day anyway...

[Donster]

Here's a question for you, mr. trace of blood:

 

How do you talk to other guys? And why would talking to a woman be any different? Try to not to let your mind get ahead of you when you talk to a woman you are interested in. The mind tends to race, will start thinking about how to get her digits, how and when the first date might be like, how the first kiss might be like, what he past is, what her family is like, would she make a good girlfriend? wife? mother of your kids? grandmother to your grandkids?

 

You get the picture, just take a deep breath, live for the here and now. Don't think about past experiences where you were shy talking to girls. And don't think too far ahead of yourself. Just speak, think, and act for the here and now. it will help you not be as anxious, and it will help you just be yourself. And that will be very attractive for the woman you are talking to, because it will be reflected as self confidence. (People generally become uncomfortable if the interact with someone who is also uncomfortable).

 

Good luck!

 

and p.s. listen to them, ask lots of questions, and show genuine interest in what they have to say. these skills will carry you very far in life, whether you are interacting with men, or both, or with groups of people.

[atraceofblood]

I wish I could just not care and not expect anything. That's what bothers me the most! I expect and worry about everything! AHHHHHHH and then I start to get obsessed and then it turns into a downward spiral from there.

[friscodj]

I wish I could just not care and not expect anything. That's what bothers me the most! I expect and worry about everything! AHHHHHHH and then I start to get obsessed and then it turns into a downward spiral from there.

 

Well, for me, I find it important to have other things going on in your life to "fall back on" and cushion the disappointment if it happens. So she isn't interested, so what? You've got X, Y, and Z to occupy your mind with and base you self-esteem on. What is X, Y, and Z for you? Education? Talents? Passions in life? Potential for the future in some area of your life? That's key...

 

Also, with things like this, I've found it harder initially but once you punch through, it gets a lot easier...the first few seconds of a conversation and those leading up to it are the toughest...past that...much easier...

[BBHFutureAllAmerican]

for me all i do is walk right up to her n start talking they don't know you so if you get rejected it's not the end of the world (although it isn't any fun but life goes on)

[Donster]

My Bloody,

the next time you catch yourself in the downward spiral, just recognize that it is happening, and then you will find that eventually you will learn to control it and to stop it. If you fight too hard to stop it, it only makes it worse. so recognize all the triggers that cause it to start at first, and you will find yourself much more relaxed in the future.

 

Another thing you can do is to try to learn by the school of hard knocks...really force yourself to be in uncomfortable situations. once you learn to navigate conversing under those situations, you will find talking to an interesting woman a snap!