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Can't share bedroom with bf, need advice


PLC
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Hi all,

Sharing bedroom with someone is really a disaster to me. Just a single light moving in bed will wake me up and it's hard for me to get back to sleep. Snoring, yanking blanket also big annoyance to my sleeping. How could I have a good relation with this trouble? One of my gf has the same problem and her way is when it comes to time that she really wants to sleep, her bf has to move out of her bedroom to sleep in another room. (Finally, they broke up). I also read one article recently that there are many couples who married don't share the same bedroom to have better sleep. How should I do to have a good sleep for myself and don't hurt or make my bf feel strange, isolated?

Need your advice badly.

Thanks,

PLC

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If he snores really louding, he would probably understand why you wouldn't want to sleep in the same bed as him and hopefully you telling him, wouldn't hurt his feelings. If its the blanket tugging that bothers you, you can have separate blankets for each of you [that's what my boyfriend and i do and it seems to work] Maybe let him fall asleep in the bed first while you take care of other things and when you know he is finally peacefully asleep, you can crawl into bed with him and fall asleep without much of him moving around constantly trying to get situated. If he is one of those guys who insists on going to bed at the same time, just tell him you have a few things you need to take care of and that you will be in there shortly. Hope this advice helps!

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Have you been sharing a bed for a while or is this new?

 

Yeah, people sleep differently. Luckily, I have no problem, but my boyfriend told me that with is ex, she moved A LOT in bed and the ended up getting a California King because of it. They both snored so they wore ear plugs.

 

I had never shared a bed with anyone before my boyfriend and I wasn't sure how it was going to be. He snores and we were sharing a small bed (twin) so we got lucky in that we were able to sleep ok. I had a hard time the first couple nights dealing with hearing him snore (he starts when he's just relaxing and i think he's asleep, but he's not) because i'm so used to complete silence which relaxes me. But I got used to it. And neither of us move very much in bed, so we can snuggle together and be ok.

 

I think couples do have problems at times when it comes to the covers, I know I was tugging at them a few times. Haha. As was he. but yes, having a blanket per person would help.

 

And yes, many couples do sleep in separate rooms because it's hard to sleep together. You could do the Lucy and Ricky thing and get separate twin beds and sleep in the same room

 

talk to your boyfriend and see what he suggestions. I'm guessing he's not having any problem sleeping. i don't get why guys can fall asleep so easy and not have any problems and the women are the ones who have the complaints. I think it's funny.

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When my husband and I were first married, I slept on the couch many nights because I couldn't get used to someone else in bed with me. He'd turn into an octopus and want to snuggle, and I'd get all claustrophobic. He'd snore. He'd move around and want to touch me and pull on the blankets and I could not STAND it.

 

Now, we sleep on opposite sides of our California King sized (read: the biggest stock bed you can get) bed, with different blankets. He doesn't touch me because I can't handle being touched when I'm sleeping. I've learned that he snores more if he's on his back, so I'll just poke him and tell him to roll over so he'll stop snoring. Now I have a hard time sleeping without him!

 

You will get used to the moving in bed. After a while, you'll go right back to sleep. I sleep through my husband's alarm every morning, but when we were first married, I'd wake up and be up for half an hour because the alarm jolted me awake. Just keep trying, and if you just can't stand it anymore, go sleep on the couch and tell your boyfriend that you have a hard time sleeping in the same bed with someone else, and that you'll keep trying to get over it. If he's hurt by this, he seriously needs to find something else in his life to worry about.

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You dont need to sleep together just because you are dating.

 

I find that I can not sleep with someone in my bed just like you, the slightest thing will wake me up.

 

My parents have friends that sleep in separate bedrooms and it was a decision they made since the very first day they were married because they simply can't sleep with eachother.

 

I think it is an incredibly poor excuse to break up with someone just because you can't sleep in the same bed. It doesn't stop you from all other elements of a relationship...

 

As for me, I'm going to have my own room -- my wife is on her own. hehe

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