second_opinion Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 is it ok to meet up with the ex (as friends and to catch up) while in a relationship? Link to comment
take it to the limit Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 hi, i guess it depends on the situation. i used to see my ex all the time because we have a son together so i kind of have to see him sometimes lol. as long as you are honest with your partner about what you are doing i cant see a problem with it, if you do it in secret, even if it is all innocent that could hurt your relationship, be open and honest and it should be fine Link to comment
second_opinion Posted September 8, 2006 Author Share Posted September 8, 2006 what if my boyfriend doesnt like my ex? Link to comment
AntiLove_SuperStar Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 That'd depend. If your current partner knows about and is fine with it, AND there's no chance either one of you will get silly and end up having sex or whatever, sure. Link to comment
AntiLove_SuperStar Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 P.S If your boyfriend doesn't like your ex - you are headed for trouble, whether you tell him you're seeing him or not. It'd be safer to respect your boyfriend and not see your ex - it depends who/what you value more. Link to comment
second_opinion Posted September 8, 2006 Author Share Posted September 8, 2006 Well Ive known my ex longer than my bf, my ex is a friend to me now. Both have value to me. Link to comment
shes2smart Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 It definitely depends on the situation. I keep in touch with only one of my exes...my college (former) bf, who I dated for 2 years and lived with for 5 years. He and the guy I ended up marrying hit it off so well that when we all lived in the same city the two of them would go hang out together without me! When my ex got married, the 4 of us (my ex, his wife, me & my husband) used to go out socially on a regular basis. We still visit each other when we are all in the same city. As you can see from that example, it certainly is a workable situation if all the parties involved are mature about it and you and your ex are well & truly over each other. (I broke up with my college bf some 15 years ago...the "romance" part of our relationship was over a very, very long time ago.) If your current bf doesn't like the idea for whatever reason, you have to make a decision...respect the current bf's wishes and cut down/cut out your contact with your ex or tell the current bf to live with it. Perhaps if you try to get to the real reason your current bf doesn't like it you could work through it with him. Have you suggested he meet your ex? Just from my own experience, sometimes that helps. If the current bf meets the ex and sees you and the ex interact, sometimes that's all it takes for the current bf to see there really is nothing there and he's (the current bf) got nothing to worry about. Link to comment
TheRock Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 Ask yourself the real reason why you want to see your ex. If it is for just friendship that is OK. If you have unresolved feeelings, it is probabaly not OK. Also, does he have any unresolved issues, meaning does one of you want to get back with the other. If so, it is probably not a good idea. Remember your significant other's (boyfriend/girlfriend) feelings should always be the priority over an ex. If you don't feel that way, the relationship needs some work. Link to comment
Clementine orange Posted September 8, 2006 Share Posted September 8, 2006 I think it's OK. Especially if a fairly significant amount of time has gone by since the relationship. It would be important to keep the current partner abreast of the situation and make sure there isn't any misunderstandings etc. Like try going for lunch or coffee or something - don't do anything at night and don't be late coming back. Then tell the current partner about what you talked about etc. (resist the urge to say "gee they looked really good, just like I remember") I have a very good friend who was a g/f at one time. I wouldn't want to lose that friendship for the world! There is a tiny little romantic spark still remaining between us but we are very careful and neither of us want to go down that road again - we value our friendship too much! Link to comment
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