Continuing problem...

[JessieK05]

I was on here earlier but now I need different advice, hehe. Figuring that tonight me and my boyfriend are having a very long fight. As earlier I asked him why he loved me which he was hesitating to answer, then signed offline (i have to talk to him online for now) then I talked to my cousin joe who gave me all this stupid advice and he is alwasy saying what he thinks is "best" for me and Nathan (my boyfriend) because he think thier best friends, which according to Nathan thier not. So I get tired of it after awhile and I guess I came onto Nathan too strong trying to prove that because here's our recent conversation...

 

Me: hey sorry I was the way I was but your best friend/my cousin Joe explained everything so yea, I guess I'll talk to you later

Him: explained what

Me: how you guys like you and him feel

Him: hows that.. well copy it if you got it

Me: i dont have it, i blocked him

Him: why

Me: because he was starting to p*** me off

Me: He said I was asking too much, that I was looking for a husband not a boyfriend, and that guys like you guys don't like that and don't like younger girls cuz they bring bullcrap

Him: how did that start getting talked about

Me: cuz I told him when he talked to you that I won't bother you anymore, and he asked what's wrong, and I told him I asked a simple question and would of been happy with any answer, and he asked what question adn i told him, and then he went ranting and raving about what i just told you, so i told him he's not helping and that I get the idea and blocked him..

Him: oh

Me: but since I bring bullcrap and ask too much, since were only "boyfriend and girlfriend" and not married, i won't bother you anymore

Me: according to him I should look for a husband

Him: ok dunno

Him: whatever jessie, this is stupid i never even said i didnt love you

Him: quit f***** bullcrapping me, why dont you go to bed

Him: im goin aright, my internet is messed up on the desktop so im busy

He signed off at 1:06:06 AM.

 

I had to change a couple words due the swearing and the only reason he said go to bed is becasue he always says that when he thinks I'm cranky or overreacting. So I'm just wondering If I should blow off the fact that he didn't answer my question of "why do you love me" and whatever cuz it's obviously making him mad. I just wonder if he still cares and loves me, and I wish my very annoying cousin would stop meddling in our relationship and that Nathan would say something to him. That won't happen though, so I'm not worried about that, it's just the caring for me part...I probably sound really dumb trying to phrase this but I don't know how else to.

[smiles314]

I learned this the hard way.. Dont press ur bf if he doesnt give you an answer right away...esp when the question is on elike that. You dont wanna give the wrong impression and freak him out. He is getting irritated it seems and its probably best to just leave it alone for the nite.. i kno it sucks, but guys just dont like to be pushed when they are not in the mood.. U asked him a tough ques and im sure he doesnt know what ansewr will make u happy..and thats why he hasnt answered.. its scary to guys, and they dont think about that so deeply sometimes... when he is ready, let him tell u on his own.. Its not so important as to why he loves u...kno that he does ..and u will figure out the why part as time progresses-- dont force just let it come up naturally

[smiles314]

dont worry!!

[JessieK05]

thanks, he just told me now that he just sometimes feels like he doesnt have to reassure me, and not to believe everything my cousin says. But thank you for the advice

[bzborow1]

Hi there,

 

Thanks for coming to enotalone for advice. It's not professional but it's someone, heh.

 

I think you need to just relax a bit on this one. I'm not totally sure what the previous problem was but i'll assume its a two-fold problem: Him not saying I Love You enough, and you asking him about why he said it.

 

Him not saying I love you enough. Well this is very common among most males, so I wouldn't sweat it so much. Besides, ask yourself this, do you REALLY want him to say I love you more? Wouldn't that diminish the value when he does say I love you? Just a thought.

 

Why did he say it? There could be many reasons for him saying it, he could have been trying to say it to get you into bed, he could have said it to get you off his back, but i'm going to give him a lot more credit then that and say he said it because he really loves you.

 

But then going further, what were his reasons for saying it? What is it about you that makes him love you? Well this question is simple, but very stressful and perhaps unnecessary. I say that someone who needs to be praised by asking that question may have trust and self-confidence problems...but again i'll give you better then that and say you're just genuinely curious.

 

This question is very stressful to a guy because sometimes we just can't pinpoint why we love someone, it's just (at least for me) the compilation of every aspect that is her, so it's not just one thing. For me, to say something like, "i love you because you're so funny, so beautiful,....we get along soooo well together, etc, etc", would be to diminish the point of the I love you. Maybe he should said that to you when you asked! Heh, anyways, it sounds really corny...but to ask why is a never-ending question to a guy...we would go through are head and list the things we love about you, then we'd re-check the list to make sure we said everything you expect to hear, then we'll sit and check to see if we got everything (by the look on your face)...and that's just too much deep thinking for us guys!!!!!!

 

That's my two cents.

 

Bill