Is there any effort I can make to get back with him?

[Na Zhang]

My exboyfriends hopes to get back with me,but he doesn't know when we can get back.He said the reason he fall out the love from me is my problems.Once he feel I won't hurt him anymore and won't only think about my feeling anymore,we will get back.He doesn't want to date me now.He asks me to wait and take steps to get back.We start over,begin with the friendship and the date,then get back.Only when he feels comfortable,he will start to date me.If I want to get back with him,I need trust him.But it drive me crazy.I wonder if there any effort to make to get back with him.There are some link to my stories.

 

 

[friscodj]

Two things I didn't want to learn but did anyway over the years that apply here are:

 

1) You can never "start over". Not possible...unless you both have brain surgery...

 

2) There is nothing you can do to "win" someone back. They have to want that through their own conviction. Sure, you might do or say something and "get" back together with them, but you aren't "really" together. You're only kidding yourselves in that case, together for the wrong reasons...

[Na Zhang]

In my situation,my ex does give me the hope.I really want to get back with him.My ex said the only effort I can do is working hard on friendship.

[friscodj]

My ex said the only effort I can do is working hard on friendship.

 

But you don't want to be friends, you want a relationship. Until you don't want a relationship with him anymore, there can be no real friendship so you are best to walk away from this situation entirely...

[Viper62382]

Exactly. What we are trying to do by being friends is trying to fill a void in our lives. But in the end, that wont help getting our ex back. It makes it easier for them to move on.

[moonflowers]

While there's something to be said for starting things slowly, I think it might be good to go NC for a while so that both parties can really grow and change. It's only going to work differently the second time around if both sides can separately work on their personal problems and really get them fixed before trying a relationship again.

[Na Zhang]

While there's something to be said for starting things slowly, I think it might be good to go NC for a while so that both parties can really grow and change. It's only going to work differently the second time around if both sides can separately work on their personal problems and really get them fixed before trying a relationship again.

 

I like your reply.Thank you.