Help!!!

[chichi]

okay i need some advice on this situation. i just joined the national guard and i am leaving for training in a month. i met this wondrful girl and despite my best efforts im falling for her. i told her i either wanted to be exclusive dating or not at all. if we try to date other ppl it would just wouldnt be the same. im very optimistic and follow my heart alot. id rather love and lose than never love at all. shes kinda pessismistic. she wants to stop it now to avoid any pain of losing each other later on. but she also says she cant ask me to leave from her life. i picked what i want and im stickin to it. i want to try this. there are no problems w/ communication, intimacy, etc. we are a good match and have a lot of fun. there is something big in motion and i want to roll with it. it is not just infatuation or physical attraction. anyway how many of you think this can work? im waiting on her to make a decision, but did i do the right thing by sticking to my guns?

[chichi]

Well chichi, i think youre doing the right thing.

[chichi]

thanks. I keep receiving so much advice. yours is the best though. dont everybody chime in at once!

[RayKay]

I totally can understand you wanting to either want to be exclusive, or to move on.

 

Though, I have to say it is also a lot to put her on the spot too if you JUST met. If she does not know you well enough yet to know how you work as partners, it is a whole lot to ask of her to commit exclusively, especially to something long distancem which also has the added stresses that military relationships can add....if you were in the Guard during peacetime it may be a different scenario...but given it is not, it even added stress.

 

At least she is being upfront she is not sure she wants to deal with that.

 

My opinion is you should date for the next month, and see where things are, and then make a choice TOGETHER to either keep things going long distance (exclusively) or to go your separate ways.

[coollady1957]

Well I am not really sure what to tell you. Your thread from back in February says that you are medical doctor ( gastric ) from South Africa, doing your residency in the states. You also mention that you have a rare condition where you are completely covered in hair over your entire body and could not get a girl friend . Now you have joined the national guard. Something just doesn't fit together here. Sorry hun.