The importance of optimism :)

[laboheme]

I went to see a movie with my ex today, and afterwards we talked a little about people changing/not changing and such...and about how it's never stupid of someone to have hope...and somewhere in the middle of the conversation, being the honest person that I am, I dropped the O-bomb on him. I told him that I was OPTIMISTIC about things. Ooooh boy, was he shocked -- he basically thought he was talking to a completely different person from the girl who cried on his shoulder two days after the breakup. I think it was the good kind of shock, too...After he regained his composure, he told me that yes, optimism is key, along with confidence, and that together the two things can work marvels. Heehee

 

And if my optimism does nothing to bring him back (I'll let you know if it works), it will help me do better in general. And declaring it with a grin on my face made me even more optimistic. So smile, be happy, hope for the best, and who knows what might happen?

 

Down with pessimism!!!!!!! (If only I had known that before the breakup...)

[lady00]

I agree...by all means, be optimisitc. Just make sure that optimism is not tied to your your hopes for reconciling but is really about a broad approach to life. After a breakup, when you want to get back togethe with someone, there is a fine and fuzzy line between optimism and denial.

[Sally00]

And if my optimism does nothing to bring him back (I'll let you know if it works).....

Optimism and confidence will bring someone else, if not him.

[Stambler]

Good for you laboheme!

 

I am going through some difficult times with my wife, not sure if she wants to stay together. I found out the hard way that being negative, needy and difficult about the situation only made things worse.

 

I have had a revelation and now I am happy, positive and understanding. I’m viewing our relationship through her eyes, and guess what – I can see why she wanted to leave. I’m making changes and I’m so happy with myself because they are for me as well as to possibly save the relationship.

 

I was also in denial, but as lady00 says – there is a fine line between being positive and denial:

 

Positive – the changes I’m making are for me and are good no matter what, if they help bring us back together then our relationship will be wonderful! If not, then my next relationship won’t suffer from the same problems

 

Denial – She’s not really going to leave me, this really isn’t happening – I’m going to pretend things are OK.