NC does work. Believe me

[Jut]

One year after the break up with my ex, yesterday, I was sitting with my sort of new gf. THe sort of means I am not as easily emotinally invloved as I once got but the story goes this way.

 

So I am sitting with the new lady in my arms and I hear my phone beeping and blinking. Its a message.

" Hey how r u sorry bout the email, i know its weird but i thght abt what happened while i was in jp and how i behaved. wanted to know how u r".

 

Then 10 secs later...

"PS ...its XXXX, the crazy girl you knew last year". Then I see the phone number and I realize who that is.

 

I had gone through lot of pain in my healing. Months of sleepless nights, hours of not doing anything but thinking and feeling like my brain is going to burst, ignoring my health, my work. My self esteem had taken a nosedive. Then one day it started to hurt less and less, like a fractured bone in your hand is healing since you stopped moving it. I was thining less and less about her. I realized the negatives that I didnt see earlier. Not only negatives in the other party but within myself. Was that thing that I did right? Should I have kept quite that time etc etc. Made me more confident. I started working out, going out, getting hobbies, meeting people and I am at the stage now where it doesnt matter if she texts me or calls me or if shes with someone else. I am not angry at her,but i dont want to have any contacts either. I am one of those who believes whatever happened is for the best.

So believe my friends, all those who are going through this exruciating pain on which you dont have any control. The best medicine is to endure it, believe at the end you will feel better, you will come out as the person who is likable , who is still worth so much to a lot of people. It might take some time but in the end you will be happy.

[rose2summer]

Thanks jut, that was very inspirational. I keep reminding myself what you are saying with your post. Last year, my bf of 5 yrs broke up, over financial issues, I was his "sugar momma", and I couldn't handle doing it anymore. About 2 weeks after the break-up, I met my current bf who is now an ex-bf, and I completely forgot about the ex of 5yrs, he was erased from my memory. The problem was I was in rebound mode though, but nonetheless, wounds will heal, and life goes on.

[brando]

erased from your memory... come on now... are you for real???

[rose2summer]

I don't mean literally erased, but I no longer had romantic feelings for him or longed for him. I was too focused on everything/everyone else in my life, I stopped caring for him.