When is Sex Too Soon?

[mikeywins21]

So I have just started dating this girl about a week ago. We have known eachother for a while because I used to work with her sister for 3 years. But we all lost touch over the years and now that I've moved back into town I ran into her. I was really happy to see her as she was me. I got her number and gave her mine. She had called me a couple of times but I never got the message. I saw her about 7 days ago again at my store (2 months after I got her number) She had asked me "Did you forget how to use the phone?" I told her I am sorry that I haven't called, I had thought about it but I had started to date someone for a couple of months and just never thought of it. But I told her I would call her on my day off.

 

 

I called her 3 days later on my day off and we went and hung out, we hit it off great and relized that we have alot more in common than we thought. We talked about what we really want in life, I kinda wanted to just be alone and not get into another relationship cuz I just got out of a divorce and a rebound in the last 6 months. By the end of the night tho we were kissing alot, the next night we got together again and spent alot of time together, she asked me if I wanted to be her boyfriend and I said yes. She was really trying hard to NOT have sex with me that night. We both have had a ton of relationships where we had sex the second or third night we were dating. And for once both of us are trying to learn from our mistakes.

 

Last night we went out again and she really wanted to have sex with me this time. I told her that we should just stick with what we talked about the second night we were hanging out and just wait for a while. Not rush into things like we have done in the past. But how long is long enough???? How long should we both wait or see eachother before we have sex. I don't want this relationship to just be based on Sex and I told her that. I have done that before so What should I do. How long should we wait????

[Mythical_Suicide]

However long you two feel comfortable with. You can never judge a relationship by the timing of when you have sex. Just because you have sex the second or third date doesn't mean the relationship is based on sex as long as you dont make it that way.

[mikeywins21]

Yeah I guess that's true, it's just that I've noticed in the past that Sex can blind you. When I first met my wife we started having sex after only a few days together, we then had sex every single day for the first 6 months of realitionship. And I mean EVERY day, but that one part of the month and even then she was doing oral.

 

Once we were married we still had sex alot. The sex was great. Both of us felt so. Once things in our marriage went bad and we started to have money problems we had to move in with her mom. Once this happened we stopped having sex for a while, like months would go by before we did. Once sex was takin out of the equation we started to relize that we didn't really have all that much in common and we fought alot. Things were not really the same anymore. I don't want that to happen again. I'm having alot of fun right now with my current g/f and I want it to stay that way. I don't want us to feel that everytime we get together we have to have sex.

[Mythical_Suicide]

Yeah well sex doesn't have to become the main point of the relationship as long as you don't let it! Just focus on the other aspects of the relationship such as how you just enjoy each others company. When relationships just revolve around sex it's because either one or both parties involved make it the main focus.

If you feel it's best to wait it out then do because if there is something deep down sayin wait then maybe there is a reason!