I am the 'other' guy

[tn]

My two best friends are dating each other. We have all known each other for about 3 or 4 years.

 

I developed a huge crush on her about a year ago and a few months ago i fell deeply in love with her. We were a little drunk one night and we kissed, it was so good. And I told her how I felt, and she told me she liked me too and knew she wasn't supposed to, and actually had a crush on me before she even dated her boyfriend.

 

We slept together last week, we just couldn't resist each other. We both felt real bad and sorry afterwards and we talked about it on MSN teh next day. We've spent a lot of time together trying to sort it out between ourselves and deal with our feelings.

 

She really loves him and I didn't want anything to come between them because he's like my best friend and he is really good to her.

 

Last night we almost did it again, but we stopped ourselves knowing how much hurt it would cause.

 

But it was too late, he already found the logs on MSN (which she thought she deleted) and even thought we never said anything directly he kind of figured it out. He asked her today and she couldn't lie to him.

 

So she's moved back home and they're on a break, and well I think all our relationships with each other are pretty screwed up now. I haven't spoken to him yet, and she says I probably shouldn't cos he's really mad.

 

I didn't want it to turn out like this.

 

I really love her and I really respect him, and it just happened, and now I don't know what to do.

 

The worst thing is that she is like the girl of my dreams, I am head over heels for her. if a day goes by and I don't see her I am devastated. She says I'll get over it, but I don't think I will ever stop loving her. She's just too great.

 

But I hate what i've done to him, and her happiness with him.

[New Found Glory]

while im sure what you want to hear is somewhere along the lines of,

 

its okay to do that because you really love her. your friend will be very understanding and you will have her in the end. you and her will run off together, with the consent of your friend, and live happily ever after, together for eternity.

 

well you wont get that from me. first off, i think that it is wrong for even kissing your best friends gf, especially if you didnt go to him on your hands and knees begging for forgivness afterwards, but thats not the worst of it, YOU SLEPT WITH HER? ? SOMEONE ELSE'S G/F IS OFF LIMITS!!! ESPECIALLY IF THE GUY IS YOUR BEST FRIEND!!! i dont know what you were thinking then, nor do i understand why you havent called your friend to apologize.

[EmptySoul]

sleeping wih this girl wasnt right considering that her bf was ur friend, but also, you really seem to love/ care about the girl, so i can see why you did it. and also, you feel bad too so that helps... this is a bad situation so the best thing that i can think of is look at it like this: what is more important to you? her happiness, your friends happiness, or your own happiness? theres probably something you loose with each one of those choices; the girl, your friend, or your own happiness, but you have to make a choice sooner or later. it just depends where ur loyalty lies.

*tru love is not caring what happens to you as long as the other person is happy*

*if you fall in love and ditch all your friends, then when/if something goes wrong with that love, where r u going to find a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen?*

[tn]

I see us together in the future.... I could spend my whole life with her. We had a pretty strong relationship considered we hung out almost every day for years.

I never believed ANYTHING would happen. It just did, there was just so much passion between us at the moment, everything else just didn't matter.

 

It mattered the next day though

 

I think what else is important is that she has been a better friend to me than anyone my whole life. She is my best friend as well as the girl I love. She's not just my mate's girl to me... she is someone very special in my life.

[Rain533]

I know that it's hard feeling like you lost two of your best friends, and feeling like it's your own fault. Things like this do happen between friends more then anyone would like to admit. I'm not saying this it's right, but I just want you to know that there are many people that can relate to your story in one way or another. ( Puting there self in the place of you or one of your friends). I know that I can relate, what I'm going to tell you I'm not proud of and this happened in high school. The guy that I was dateing and his best friend and I hung out together all the time. Over time I started haveing feelings for his friend and knew that it wasn't right to be dateing him If I was haveing the feeling tords the friend. So I broke up with my ex boyfriend after two years, I know longer had feelings for him. I never thought in a million years that his friend whould call me, but he did and he told me that he was having the same feelings tord me and as wrong as I knew it was I started hanging out with him and we both shared are feeling of how we liked each other but at the same time we felt that it was wrong because we didn't want to hurt the ex boyfriend eather. By then it was to late and we had really fallen for each other and started dateing, when the ex boyfriend found out he was really up set and wanted nothing to do with his old friend and wanted me back. Over time the ex boyfriend hated both of us for what we did. We ended up dating for three years, but that gilt never went away for eather of us. We ended up braking up for some reason. Now years later we all run in to each other once in awhile and just say hi thats about it.

 

The EX Boyfriend (like your friend)

 

I talked to him years later and he told me that it took a long time for him to get over me and the fact that he lost his best friend at the same time. He said that he still has trouble trusting people. I wish that I could take the pain away and go back and have done things differently so he wouldn't have gotten hurt.

 

 

The Friend (like you)

 

Last time he talked to me about this he told me that we should have never dated, that it just wasn't a good way to start things out ( I think he ment hurting someone just so we could be happy together). The ex boyfriend did forgive him after 7yr's but there relationship was never the same again.

 

ME (like the girl you told us about)

 

Even though I regret hurting the ex boyfriend, I new that I was not happy with him and didn't want to date him anymore. Sure maybe I sholdn't have dated the friend but You know that guy tought me what it really feels like to be loved. I don't regret that relationship at all I just regret having to hurt someone else. To this day I still love the friend and want to be with him.

 

I can't help but to wonder if the girl you are talking about really loves your friend because if she did then I don't think that she would have ever slept with you. These feelings are not going to go away you and as selfish as it may sould if you really love her tell her and try to be with one another. Even though your relationship started out wrong don't think about that if you can just try to make things work with her. Things are never going to be the same between the three of you again you can never go back to the way it was. You should tell your friend that you are sorry even though chances are it will take time before he will forgive you.

 

 

Hope that I could help you.

 

Try to move forward and not stay in the past, this is'nt the easyest way to start a relationship but if the two of you love each other you can make it work. The truth is the damage is already done and if you love this girl you may beable to keep her as a best friend and a girlfriend, insted of lossing both of them all together.

[tn]

She doesn't love me, she loves him. But she wanted me anyway... i'm so confused.

[couture]

God i would be devastated if i found out my best friend and my boyfriend had slept together! I really think you should leave things to lie low for awhile it's really not your place to start interfering between their relationship she obviousley loves your friend very much or she would of left him for you awhile ago and she hasn't had she?

 

You really need to think where your loyalties lie and you certainly need to leave things between you and the girlfriend if she feels the same she'll come and find you! But it was a low thing you two did and i wouldn't expect your friend to forgive you anytime soon!