Advice

[baboy71]

HEy everyone i just needed some opinions on something I dont know weather to be mad at or not. So I've been in a relationship for 2 years and my girlfriend went on a vacation to Mexico. Yesterday I found out she danced with another guy this has never come up so I feel all tangled up. I dont know if its jealousy I'm feeling or anger. Would you guys be mad or jealous at your partner. FYI- I dont have any background on the guy.

[coollady1957]

How did you find out she danced with another guy? Was it a guy that she randomly met while out for the evening and they just happened to dance with each other? Is it someone that she will never likely see again? Has she ever given you any reason to be worried about her intentions around other guys?

 

Sorry for all the questions, but just trying to get a little more info about the situation.

 

If it were just dancing and nothing else happened, I do not see any reason to be jealous or mad.

[shorty20]

it would depend on a number of things... first off HOW she danced with him... if it was very sexual and intimate and close then I'd probably be a little put off but nothing to break up over... also if she told you or if you had to hear it from someone else... and also if she has a past of cheating. If she has given you a reason to think she's cheating (like if she's cheated in the past or this has been an issue before) then I'd be thinking real hard about how true her committment to me is... if she's been fine up until now then don't worry about it.

[baboy71]

I knew she was going with her cousins so I asked did you dance with anyone besides your cousin and she said yes. second question im not sure. If she goes to Mexico again she will see him. And lastly no not really.

[baboy71]

SHes also never cheated on me not that I know of at least and im not sure how exactly she danced with the guy. I dont know though guys its just like im shocked I know theres no reason to feel betrayed but for some wird dumb reason I do. MAybe its because it was the first time it came up

[heloladies21]

Well obviously she told you expecting some kind of reaction out of you. Just a test to see if you truly care about her, because you would only get upset or jealous about somebody you care about.

 

Bring this situation up with her and address it. It's ok to let her see that you were affected by it, but if she apologizes and you buy it, be cool and let it go afterward.

[baboy71]

I did bring it up and she didnt like my reaction she thinks iI dont trust her. I trust her but i just dont like the situation it gets me very angry you know but she doesnt see it that way. Another guy dancing with your girlfriend isnt the coolest thing it sucks well im ny point of view.

[monkey1]

Well, if you trust her, then you wouldn't feel so bothered by it. Dancing with someone of the opposite sex isn't the worst thing. As long as she and he didn't do anything besides dancing, I'd say just let it go. She's with you and she told you so what's the big deal. If my boyfriend danced with another woman, I don't think i'd be bothered. If he wanted to dance, well by all means do it. I've told my boyfriend I went to a club with a few friends and we danced together. He doesn't know my friends, but wasn't like "Oh, so did you dance with guys? How did you dance together?"

 

I may have danced a little more "provocative" with a guy, but it didn't mean anything. You're just out wanting to have fun.

 

I say just chill and let it go. She's with you and wants to be with you and that's the important part.

[lostNspace]

I say let it go, too. Unless you have suspicions about other activities or have a suspicion that she may be cheating on you, it was likely harmless. She probably has zero interest in the guy other than just somebody to dance with at that particular moment and likely thought nothing of it. She didn't think it was a big deal and didn't hide it from you, so I would say take it as that - something that wasn't a big deal to her. Put yourself in her shoes - if you had been the one to go to Mexico, could you have danced with another girl while you were there without thinking anything more of it than just someone to dance with? If you say "yes," then don't doubt her ability to do the same. Seriously, I wouldn't worry about it. Easier said than done, I know. But, I think the main thing is that she didn't lie to you about it. That's a good sign.

[Momene]

I wonder also what your attitude to separate vacations is. My wife and I are both clingy, so wouldn't like it. I guess if any touching went on it would be crossing the boundary but I'm afraid that even married people get "hit on" from time to time, so it's a fact of life.