Major Confusion

[Iakona]

Hey folks, it's the first time i've done something like this so i apologise if i don't come accross very well.

 

Anyway i've been in a relationship with this girl for about 2 months now and i really like her... I'm her first real boyfriend from what i gather...It started of really well she was into it and seemed to really like me. We live about 50 miles apart so because of work and other commitments i can only see her once or twice a week for several hours.(totally need a car Nowadays when talking on the phone she doesn't seem very intrested and only really contacts me if i contact her. When we're with each other its fine though.

 

4 days ago she left for Glasgow(170 miles away) to do a course to gain expierence in a career she hopes to pursue. Before she left she was telling me to make sure we keep in contact every day and phone her as much as i can, and if i can't she'd phone me. First day went ok, but now shes started making friends which isn't a problem. It seems to be all guys shes befriending which yet again isn't really a problem! I'm just getting a bit iffy as they seem to have more in common with her than i do and shes started blowing me of to be with them if you read on you'll see what i mean. Last night she was supposed to phone me at 9pm but she never... So i phoned at 11pm to see what was up. She said she went out for food with a guy from college, so would have to phone me back in 15 minutes as hes just going. 45 Minutes passed i got a txt saying she wasn't phoning cause shes away to a club with him. Sent her a txt this evening asking her what shes up to tonight and if she wanted me to call and all i got was a rely saying ''don't know'' with no little ''xxx's'' that are something she always does unless somethings up.

 

Am i just over reading things or am i right to be paranoid? It's not really i think she's cheating as i don't... It's more of a thing i don't know if she wants to be with me or not and i can't find the courage to ask her as i'm scared she'll say what i don't want to hear.

[chai714]

Welcome to eNotalone. Sorry to hear your girlfriend isn't being loyal to you.

 

No, you have every right to be paranoid. If she's blowing you, her boyfriend, off for a club with another guy, that spells T-R-O-U-B-L-E.

 

I'd let her know that if she's going to blow you off for a stranger, let's end this thing for good.

[itseuphoric]

i'm sorry to hear all that, because to be perfectly honest the situation is not looking good. her blowing you off like that is sending major signs- and not the kind you want to be getting. if you are her first real boyfriend, it could quite possibly be that she wants to break it off but doesn't know how, so she's just pushing you away. it could also be that something else between you two is bothering her and she's just not saying it maybe? but what i think you need to do is call her up and talk to her about it. that's the only way to find out for sure. and if it's something you don't want to hear...just know that everythings for the best in the end! best of luck

[Iakona]

Thanks for reading guys and for the advice... Much appriciated.

 

I've spoke to her about and she didn't seem all that bothered that i was annoyed... Asked her is anything wrong and she just blamed tiredness and not having anytime as she's doing 12 hour shifts. Asked her where we stand and she just went quiet a sighed and said nothing has changed when in my eyes it has. So i'm Basically going to see how it goes for next few days and if things don't improve i guess i'm better of being out of this mess. ](*,)

[Iakona]

She phoned back to tell me she was mad at me last night for going in a huff because she never phoned. We sorted tht then i said something and she got annoyed saying i cannot be * * * *ed and started crying and said she had to go.

 

i dont have a clue whats going on i feel so helpless

[chai714]

Iakona,

 

You're being needy by going in a huff if she doesn't call. Neediness is among the top of the list of unattractive traits. Recognize this behavior and control it.

 

I have a clue what's going on - she cares about you, you said something that upset her and she reacted. No need for this long-distance drama. Let her have her time with her boyfriend and quit being needy.

 

LIMIT YOUR CALLS, EMAILS, TEXTS, etc.

[Momene]

But if she SAID she was going to 'phone and didn't, then it's not you being needy, it's her being inconsiderate.

 

I think this one's ended before it's really started.