Aurian Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 Hi everyone, long-time LDRer here. I have been in a long-distance relationship for over five years now. I am on Canada's west coast, he is in Europe. Lately things have been feeling a bit stale. Long story short, we've had quite a few blows to the relationship and I am trying to build back a bit of fun and intimacy between us again. Emails and chatting is getting a bit hard since we get frustrated at coming up with topics to talk about all the time. Anyone have any suggestions what we can do to liven up emails and chats? His computer is a bit too old and cranky to accept games, so online gaming together is out. I am also deaf so it has to be something online... Thanks! Link to comment
Blue Skittles Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 why not send each other things in the snail mail. U could send little gifts and cards and letters in fancy coloured ink. I always find that puts some fun into it. Link to comment
Aurian Posted July 2, 2006 Author Share Posted July 2, 2006 We already snail-mail quite a bit with packages and gifts. I think I may have overdone it even! Its our online time that needs work... Link to comment
Süsser Tod Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 5 years!!?? You have something that I really lack! My gf has been abroad for 21 days, 24 days more to go, and today on the phone I didn't knew what to talk about. Needless to say, the conversation wasn't that good. I'm really doubting we'll make it, and it is only 45 days. Link to comment
Blue Skittles Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 5 years is a very long time to be in a LDR. I'm not sure what else u can do online... I'm not big on online communication. BUt i'm rather curious.. how did u make it last this long? Do u have any plans thus yet of one of you moving out to be with the other? Link to comment
monkey1 Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 Oh, I've done almost 4 years so I can relate!!! My boyfriend and I take pics for each other, though since your bf's computer sounds old I'm not sure how well the graphics will work. Actually, I'm in the same boat as you. I'm bored and want us to do something more interesting. I suggested to him that we should buy battleship the board game and message each other while playing the game. though i highly doubt he'll think much of this as i do. i also thought that us renting the same film and watching it together online would be nice. make it feel like we're watching the movie together. i try to send him cards or ecards when i can, especially when he needs cheering up or something. always nice ot get something cute. you could both just try and make a virtual date. both get the same take out or whatever and eat. then watch a movie together. or maybe read the same book and talk about it. apart from that, it's kind of hard since i'm not deaf and that does make things a little more difficult. hope some of the suggestions help. Link to comment
Aurian Posted July 2, 2006 Author Share Posted July 2, 2006 I guess I should mention a bit of my history We met online on a forum for games back in June 2001. I am in Vancouver, and he is over in Europe. Somehow things just clicked on the forum and we started chatting. Things went so well for both of us. A year later in May, we finally got courage to have our first meeting in Canada. We were very worried and excited, but it went well. A few months later, I visited him in Europe and he proposed. =D> February 1, 2003 (01-02-03)! We got married. We decided to live in Canada so we started immigration proceedures. He wasn't able to come until October. Long story short, I had issues with work and my family when he came and I did not give him the love, attention and support he needed to make his way to a new country. Plus, despite being next in line for assistant manager at his old job, he could only get crummy jobs for things like stock boy on the graveyard shift or jobs that treated him badly. He's proud and that hurt him too. My family also did not treat him well and I was close to them back then. To top things off, we couldn't live well on my small salary, my car was stolen and our first apartment was a disaster (having a grow-op was one of the problems). He had enough and left six-seven months later, feeling rather betrayed that my country, my family and I treated him badly. We still have love though, and we are going to try again. I will go there this time. Its still a long way aways because he does not meet the requirements to sponsor me as his wife to his home country. Its been a long stretch since we've last seen each other. We won't see each other again until October, and we've already waited quite a few months. Things are less easy between us, with a lot of built-up frustrations and anger. That's why I am trying to find ways to shake up our chats and emails a bit and try bring back some of the lightness and fun we used to have. How we've lasted this long? We have a time difference of 9 hours (my morning is his evening). We chat all weekend and on my holidays (when I am not in work). Other days we email. We still share interests such as video games, soccer and especially hockey (I'm a Canuck, eh? ). We send each other packages and gifts regularly. The times we have together are like honeymoons and we take them seriously. We've had a bit of a rough patch (HUGE arguments about my family) and I am trying to build things back up again. Link to comment
Aurian Posted July 2, 2006 Author Share Posted July 2, 2006 5 years!!?? You have something that I really lack! My gf has been abroad for 21 days, 24 days more to go, and today on the phone I didn't knew what to talk about. Needless to say, the conversation wasn't that good. I'm really doubting we'll make it, and it is only 45 days. It helps to look around for news that interests you (link removed is good for a wide variety) and jot down a few notes. Sometimes that can start off a good conversation! Other times, it really helps to share your feelings or express what you wish you could be doing. I dunno about you, but knowing the other is missing me that way makes me feel wanted and loved. Link to comment
Aurian Posted July 2, 2006 Author Share Posted July 2, 2006 Maybe I'll suggest the virtual date idea... I can have an early lunch and him a late lunch and we try watch a movie together..... We have been watching the World Cup soccer together and that has been fun since both our TVs get the games! Shame its almost over!!! Link to comment
skyjuice Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 Hi Wow I am impressed by the courage and the high EQ that both of you had. Because it must be challenging to maintain this long with both of you time apart. Link to comment
Keuro Posted July 2, 2006 Share Posted July 2, 2006 I'm really impressed as well , and I feel concerned about your situation because mine seems that is on the same path (though we're almost on our 2nd meeting). I sometimes draw him silly things over MSN for him to see when he wakes up, I don't draw super nice, but they're cute I also send him text messages to his cell phone while he's at work... Link to comment
Aurian Posted July 4, 2006 Author Share Posted July 4, 2006 Don't be impressed anymore. He divorced me tonight. Link to comment
Süsser Tod Posted July 4, 2006 Share Posted July 4, 2006 Don't be impressed anymore. He divorced me tonight. So he made it official? Ugh that's really bad. On the brightside, you'll be able to get a relationship with someone closer to you now. Link to comment
Aurian Posted July 4, 2006 Author Share Posted July 4, 2006 Not yet, but he told me he was sick of me and wanted me out of his life. Link to comment
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