She was cheating

[mustang67]

She was cheating on me with a guy 20 years older then her, she said its over and she is now living with him. She has only seen the kids twice in three weeks. Is this really over or is she going threw a mid life crisis or something.

[coollady1957]

I guess it is hard to say. You do not give much info. However if someone was cheating, I would call it quits with them anyway. There is no excuse for some one cheating and would be a total deal breaker for me.

 

You do not say what her age is, nor how long she has been seeing this other guy. Is this your wife , or a girlfriend?

[coollady1957]

I read back on your other previous thread and I would actually say ITS OVER ! ..... as I said before if there is cheating going on, it should be a deal breaker.

[Bethany]

I'm so sorry, you must be going through hell. Her behaviour is appalling.

 

Can you talk to her parents and let them in on what's happened? One of her close friends even? She must see the children and often, maybe someone might be able to talk some sense into her?

 

For what it's worth, I think she is kidding herself that she can just walk out on her children and she will I am sure, unless she has turned into a heartless cold woman over night, will come 'around' and she will start missing you all. It's all new at the moment, she is living some sort of fake life, but reality is sure to set in and soon.

 

Be strong honey, find someone in real life who can make her see what she is doing to her own children. No man should come before your children and deep down she knows this.

 

Take it easy on yourself. One day at a time.

[matius]

Yeah, it's over...

 

Give it some time, I think you'll realize how this is the best thing for you.

[yeawutever]

If she cheated that proves her true character. Second if it was over already, she would have the maturity to break up with you before being with the older guy. In case she wants you back, call it quits for good, it's definitely a deal-breaker.

[Bethany]

Deal-breaking is for dating, it has nothing to do with marriage where there is children involved.

When there are children involved every option taken, no stone must be left unturned in the effort to keep your children safe emotionally or otherwise. EVERYTHING must be tried before you break-up a family.

 

This man is suffering alone and his children are missing their mother's love every day that she is away from them. This man needs support.

[matius]

Bethany: I agree with you that this situation needs to be handled in a more serious fashion, the kids need special attention. However, I still think the marriage cannot be saved...besides, the unfortunate reality is that divorce is very common.

[mustang67]

The weird thing is i still love her and miss her, I mean she doesn't even call them to say goodnight. This isn't her she has really changed, her age is 32 and the guy she is with 52. I am kinda of worried that this guy brainwashed into thinking her life would be better without me and he keeps her busy or doesn't bring the kids up so he can distance her from them. Its just not like her. I think he is using her for sex, what does a 52 year old want with a young girl with little kids. Most people tell me to move on for myself and the kids and maybe down the road she will realize she is wrong and come back but that will be my decision to let her or not. I broke down and cried couple of days ago because my 4 year old girl gave me a picture she made at school and it was my family, it had daddy,mommy,her little sister and her, it broke my heart, I just don't know what to do.