Roomie probs

[therealshrek]

When my ex broke up with me back in May, I had to figure out how I was going to afford the apartment we had gotten together. Well luckily I was able to work with the landlord and he let me out of the 1 bedroom apt I had signed onto and into a 2 bedroom with a long time friend of mine who was dumped by her boyfriend of 3 years the same week as I was dumped.

 

We've been in this apartment for about 3 weeks now and there is something that bugs me a lot. She has a guy "friend" that she brings over every day. He's an 18 year old kid (my roomie and I are both 23) who is your typical pothead/skater/goth wannabe poser. She brings this guy over every single day and he stays overnight in the living room. He eats my food, drinks my liquor/energy drinks/juice, and hogs the tv and couch. He's also very loud and brings over his other buddies who are even louder. Our apartment complex contains a lot of older working people who hit the hay around 11pm and these guys are up till 1-2am standing outside our apt door, smoking, drinking, talking very loud, and just being annoying. We've gotten two complaints from the manager because of these guys. i tried to be nice and give these guys a chance, but they showed no respect for me and no interest in being friendly to me.

 

My roommate just loves this kid and his friends and I really dont want to be the law enforcer or the "jerk roomie" but I just feel like I cant even come and be comfortable at my own apartment. These kids cant even remember my fricken name, and to me, thats a large insult.

 

I hinted to my roomie that these guys irritate me, but I dont think she gets the hint. She's a down to earth gal, but can be a complete airhead sometimes. She's also taking anti-depressants and anti-anxiety pills, so she has some odd mood swings sometimes, but is a very nice person, so I dont want to confront her about her friends and have her trip out.

 

I dunno, maybe I'm just over reacting to this because its my first time being on my own and living with someone that is not my family? i understand she has every right to have friends over cuz she has paying half the rent, but i mean, this guy practically lives here and he just rubs me the wrong way. I dunno...

 

any advice at all would be greatly appreciated. i just really dont know what to do.

[fishrrshortae]

Hi Shrek,

 

I think it's best to say something directly to your roomie as nicely as possible. Consider this:

 

1). In the future, if you are filling out applications for an apartment and need references as a tenant, this may come back to bite you

 

2). Other tenants in the building will be less than impressed with the situation

 

3). Your things are being taken without your permission

 

Now obviously, she is paying half of the rent, so she can have guests over. Maybe you could arrange to have a neighbor or manager come to the apartment when they are getting loud, to personally ask them to quiet down. That way it's coming from someone else, not you. Or you can simply say something like, "I understand that these are your friends, and this apartment is half yours, but there are some things that we need to discuss ..." and set some firm boundaries.

 

P.S. If you can afford it, it might even help to have a small fridge in your room that they don't have access to ...

[nottoogreen]

Hi Shrek,

 

What a pain, sorry for you.

 

Well I'd write her a letter, politely and firmly worded. It's better than talking and avoids arguments.

 

As backup, look for other appt to share with someone more mature.

[RelaxByWater84]

Dang have i been there, on a college dorm level, but still i feel for you. My roomie would pull these all-nighters and let her friends come in and talk normally, intead of whispering.

 

I would do what one suggested: have a neighbor or the manager come and tell them they are being too loud. I wish I could have told my R.A. but, she and my roomie were friends.

 

I'll pray the situation gets better and for your sanity cuz I sure needed it.

[ComputerGuy]

Sounds like when I was living on University Campus. My suggestion is bring it up sooner rather than later or you will end up snapping and exploding on everyone. Just sit her down one day and explain it to her. You pay rent there too, it's 50/50 give and take. You will have to compromise on it but so will your friend.