Porn Addicted Husband

[hmazer311]

I have been with my husband for almost 6 years now. We have a 3 year old and another one on the way. I started noticing his porn habit when I was pregnant the first time, and through the years he has been getting better about hiding it. But every once and a while he slips up and I find evidence on his computer. It seems like I have tried everything to get him to stop, we've made movies together and I took pictures of my self. This whole thing is a major blow to my self esteem, especially now that I am pregnant again. We really don't talk about his habit, we both try to avoid the conversation, but he knows that it hurts me. Am I in the wrong by letting it hurt so bad?

[Baffler Meal]

Don't assume that he knows how you feel if you don't talk about it. He may just think it annoys you or that you don't want to know about it. I think you should sit down with him and explain exactly how it makes you feel.

[Yahko]

I can tell you Hamazer , that a guy which doesnt have Porn on his computer , is not normal. We were visiting our friends , and I needed to download some stuff from Kazaa [because i have 33k modem] so when I opened kazaa ALL I SAW WAS PORN that he downloaded. They have 2 years old child.....maried about 5 years.....so......

 

You should visit link removed

 

Its a site where people just take naked pictures of themselvs[out side, inside, parties, beaches , EVERY where.....] and post them there....

 

You would see how big is that 'community' of people getting naked in public...... very interesting

 

To make a story short........ Dont wory about his porn....... unless he have pornography, gore pornography or some wicked stuff.......

[garymax]

I can tell you right now that making movies with him isn't the answer. As long as there is a stronghold in his mind of images and fantasy, you will never be able to compete.

 

You have every right to feel the way you do; after all, it is a form of betrayal. He is looking at other women. And from a Biblical perspective, if one thinks about something long enough, their feet will eventually carry those thoughts and intents to fruition.

 

He has to want to stop and get counseling--preferably from someone who is hooked up with God and walks in the Anointing. You'll get results then.

[hmazer311]

There is some really good advice up there. I just don't understand why men need it so bad, and are willing to hurt thier wives/girlfriends for a daily dose of breasts. Am I fighting a losing battle?

[garymax]

hmazer311.

 

Pornography is powerful and addictive in nature. Your husband may love you alright, but the "pull" from pornography is a strong force to men in general. Since we men are stimulated at the sight of a women, we are more susceptible to being drawn into pornography--unless a man does not think on those things and makes a quality decision not to.

 

Here is a web site that may help you: link removed

 

It is an amazing story of how a man got deeply involved with pornography and then came out of it by the grace of God.

 

I'll shoot it straight: only God can deliver someone who is caught up in pornography. But He is more than willing if a person wants to be delivered.

[wonderer]

Hi hmazer.

 

I know exactly what your going through, however if it's not affecting your sex life I wouldn't worry about it too much. You do need to keep a watchful eye at all times to ensure that it won't affect your sex life.

 

I'm dealing w/ a similar problem w/ my boyfriend, however in the beginning of our relationship we agreed that he could look at porn as long as it didn't affect us, but little did I know that it was affecting us right from the very beginning.

 

I have learned soooo much from this site as well as others. The most importnat thing I have learned is that you do need to talk, talk, talk and talk some more about the problem, however, don't be blind enough to think that it will stop because it won't. And when you talk to him about it you CAN'T make him feel guilty about doing it or he will shut you out completely. Be understanding and learn as much as you can. Explain to him that your in this thing together and you will work it out together. The agreement that we have come to is that down the road, after our sex life takes on normalcy then he can look at porn on occasion, but most of the time it will be with me. Some of our problem was that we had misunderstandings about what was acceptable and not acceptable when it came to sex. We have talked and shared and I have cried many tears for feeling so rejected, but things are improving very slowly.

 

Please just know that this is NOT your fault and what they view on that screen is totally different then how they feel about us. Remember also that you are not alone in fighting this thing. You need to find someone close to you that you can talk to and preferably someone that is having similar problems.

 

Good Luck and keep us informed.

[m3chris]

Every woman has the right to be considered the most sexy thing that someone has ever seen. But it shouldn't be by complete strangers, or someone they are not in a relationship.

 

Relationships are cool because they tend to bring out the best/worst of a person. If your partner can't see one of the BEST part as you being naked, then its not fair to you.

 

Take note, any confident guy can and will be lusted after by just about any type of chick. On porn sites you can see some of the ugliest men getting it on with hot women. But a confident woman....if not in the "cookie cutter" figure....won't get that same response. Most porn focuses on the perfect legs, breasts and the rest of the body. Anything slightly extra is "gross" (to most men)

 

How is this fair to those of us that work our keesters off trying to look good, and probably look good to others, but not to the person we care most about?

 

Just stand your ground. You have a right for your partner to think your sexy. You are not scum....and you are NOT ugly.