My boyfriend chose his dad over me... :(

[VickiRose]

Basically, I have been seeing Greg since late november. I threw it away today & I guess thats what he wanted. When I get mad I can say some pretty nasty stuff. Anywho, He works till 9 on Mondays and Tues & normally can't see him on those days. Wednesdays he plays pool with his dad, can't see him on that day either. Fridays he goes out back home on the weekends which is an hour away. Mind you he moved away from home. Weekends are for his friends & Sunday is the day he goes to the movies with his dad or what not. Saterday was my birthday, he had to attend a fathers day BQ on sat, Sunday, I'm a realtor so I work on Sundays. He said he could see me on sunday at 10pm???? I declined it was too late; i guess i got pissed off. Today, I asked to see him he said it was his dad's bday and no. I dumped him... & he said bye I texted him back saying that I really like him & work to things out and that I think its weird that you spend so much time with ur dad. He wrote back maybe I'm just not what ur looking for & we should be just friends. I'm at a lost.... I dunno really know what to do. I feel completely numb right now. Its he doesn't want to work things out & give me the time of day. I guess I'm a horrible person.

[thyroxine]

You don't sounds like a horrible person, it just sounds like he is very close with his dad. My friend's boyfriend is the same way. His dad and him are best friends. You probably offended him by saying he spent so much time with his dad. Maybe he's not ready for a relationship or wants someone who understands the friendship he shares with his father? Have you met his dad?

[VickiRose]

yeah I'v met his dad and his mom on likethe our 3rd date.... He he had to get their approval I guess.

[mushroom1129]

i dont know, he doesn't sound so good. i understand wanting to be with his father but wow, thats a bit much and he needs to work his time in with you. and seeing as though he didn't even want to work things out and just texted you saying "Bye", seems that he really doesn't care like he should. i agree, he doesnt' need a relationship right now.

[nottoogreen]

Hi VickiRose,

 

You are a person who want's to love and to be loved. Guess you are too frustrated and hot, but probably did the right thing.

 

Your bf does not seem to be interested in a relationship. If you had sex with him, me thinks he just used you. Otherwhise he may just not be ready or has someone else.

 

I suggest you enforce strict NC with him and move on.

 

We will always be here for you.

[SkylinesTurnstiles]

youe not a horrible person.it just sounds like his really close to his dad

[lillady898]

You're really not a bad person at all. You didn't like the situation and you got out of it. That takes a lot more guts than you think.

 

From what I gathered, it wasn't just the fact that he was hanging out with his dad made you unhappy in the relationship. The couple of situations with his dad that there were just made you snap... a biproduct of built frustration.

 

He wasn't making time for you any part of the week, including the weekend. Why? Because he wanted to hang out with his friends. It's understandable if he wants to hang out with his friends, but it's not a good sign when it means he won't set any time aside for you.

 

If it wasn't right for you, you did the right thing. It's never a really good idea to hold onto something for what you think it could be, particularly if the other person doesn't seem willing to make changes (or if they don't even think anything is wrong).

[l0stNc0nfuzzLed]

i was kind of having the same problem. there were circumstances taht came up where my ex and i couldn't spend as much time together, and it's something we couldn't do about it. but then things sorta got fixed, but after a while, it seemed like he just didn't make time for me. i understand he's busy and all, but when he's not, he doesn't make time for me. he would be getting drunk with his friends. i guess taht was more important to him than me. he said he cared but it didn't show. and then he just suddenly stopped ansering my phone calls and finally i saw him yesterday and he told me how i felt and all. i guess if i didn't wait for him yesterday at his place, i probably wouldn't have seen him or heard from him again.

 

it's not you. it's him.