danielle_hertzog Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 I'm 15 my birthday is august 18th and Im in love with a 20 year old... Last relationship i was in was with a 19 year old i was engaged to him, and my parents didn't like the age gap between us... I don't see why it is such a big deal to odler people like my parents but not to younger poeple like my friends, I'm not going out with the guy yet but we both like each other and i want to give it a shot, but I'm afraid that if i tell my parents then they won't let him come over or let me go away with him... I want my parents to trust me and let me do my own thing and be happy. I don't really have a good relationship with my parents already like I don't talk to them about things that go on in my life, and i want her to know everything... but not if she will be upset with everything that i do. I don't know how to go about this... I really want to tell her so she can trust me and we can talk about things that go on in my life together but if she will be telling me things that i don't want to hear then i don't want to do it... but i don't know what she will say?!?!?!?1 Link to comment
secret_agent_man Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 Hi danielle! I don't have any answers for you, but I do have a huge suggestion. Whatever you do, you shouldn't lie to your parents about his age. If they don't ask, you have to decide whether to tell them or not, but seriously try not to lie about it and say he's younger, that will only cause more problems than it's worth in the long run... Good luck, do what feels right... and remember, your parents are always looking out for you and what's best for you, even if it doesn't seem that way at the time. S.A.M. Link to comment
taken Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 danielle, maybe you should get your parents to meet him. invite him over fro dinner or something, and see if they like him. then after they meet him and or like him, tell them his age. maybe after they meet him and are open minded about it, they wont be so over bearing about it. i hope this helped, even a little bit. Link to comment
danielle_hertzog Posted July 31, 2003 Author Share Posted July 31, 2003 see the thing about that is... my parents know him and they know his age they know how he is because he was friends with my brother... im just afraid that if i tell them that im in love with him they won't aprove of him for me and they won't allow me to go places or do things with him... and i don't want that to happen because we have so much fun when we are together and he is funny and really cute... he's everything a girl could ever want in a guy plus more...he great... but my parents just don't understand how i feel about him Link to comment
doorik Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 I hope this does not discourage you but 9/10 times when a 20 year old guy goes out with a 15 year old girl its because 1) it's easier for the guy to get the girl in bed 2) girl is willing to put up with a lot more SH*t because "he's more experienced" or "he's sooo mature" Juss keepin it real, Doorik Link to comment
bzborow1 Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 It's a fact of life, but the age gap gets less important as you get older. I think it's because of maturity. There is a REAL big difference (5 years) between 15 and 20...in terms of physical, sexual, and mental maturity. I think your parents are doing the right thing by being worried about you, but just keep assuring them if this is what you want to do. Link to comment
livia_eve25 Posted July 31, 2003 Share Posted July 31, 2003 hey danielle, i know how you feel, i am 15, my boyfriend is 18, not exactly the same, but close. My only suggestion is to be honest. My mom had a cow when i told her, but eventually she got over it. She likes him, just doesn't trust him, she thinks the same way doorick does, and it's not always true. My boyfriend is not going out with me beacuse of any of doorick's reasons. I'm not saying most guys aren't like that, they are, but a few are pretty decent, I hope your crush is one of those guys, but watch out for yourself and don't be afriad to stand up for yourself if he trys to pressure you. Good luck! Link to comment
danielle_hertzog Posted August 3, 2003 Author Share Posted August 3, 2003 here it is... last night my bro had a party...and the 20 year old guy i like was there...we stayed up talking until 4 in the morning about what happened in our lives and things like scars and how they got there and everything it's so easy to talk to him about anything...but anyways then he goes home and now today my mom actually talked to me, so asked me if i liked him and i said kinda then she said what happened to the other guy you liked i was like i dunno, he's never around...she asked me if i still liked the other guy and i said kinda...then she told me that she doesn't want me messing around with so many guys i was like mom i know, then she said that i better make up my mind on who i want to be with i was like i know i'm just thinking right now about things, she didn't bring anything up about his age or anything i was really surprised that she even talked to me about him. but she likes him i know that for sure and my brother is friends with him so that isn't a problem either, so now i don't have to worry about anything, she just said that the same rules apply like any other boyfriend i ever had. and i was like i know mom thats fine... haha then she said "but i think 4 a.m. is a little too late for him to be going home im getting to old to stay up that late waiting for you to go to bed" i was like i know but we were having a good conversation about our past life that we didn't realize what time it really was! so everything worked out great!! Link to comment
danielle_hertzog Posted August 3, 2003 Author Share Posted August 3, 2003 Well now today my mom brought up about how old he is... she said that he was the one that told her about my ex boyfriend being to old for me and my ex boyfriend is younger than he is. but that was about two years ago and things change. Since we have been spending more and more time together he likes me more and more. The age thing doesn't bother him anymore when it used to bother him with my ex. My mom told me to go out with someone my own age. But I like him and I think it would last between us. How do I get my mom to realize that i like older guys cause their more mature, without her believing that older guys just want sex. cause really all guys want sex. some are different than others though Link to comment
danielle_hertzog Posted August 3, 2003 Author Share Posted August 3, 2003 now today my mom told me that she won't allow me to go out with him because of his age....it's like one minute she says that i can go out with him then the next i can't..........parents are so dumb Link to comment
BettieRage Posted September 10, 2003 Share Posted September 10, 2003 Hello! Ok...I am 15 years old. But I am very mature for my age. If you met me in person, you would never guess my real age. I have never dated anyone my age. And I have never gotten along anyone my age. All of my friends are AT LEAST 18. My boyfriend/FIANCE!!! is twenty-four, sweetie. We have been together almost a year now. We are best friends. We talk to each other about everything and are completely comfortable around each other. He respects me and was/isnt with just because of SEX!!! Although, alot of guys arrrrrre like that. But if yall are talking more and more, and yall actually talk about real things and yall can share your true opinions about everything comfortably..and yall arent just talking about 'hooking up' or just 'flirting' there is a mighty fine chance that he is not like this nightmar-ish guys people like DORRIK warned you of. Females tend to date older guys so often because...the truth is, that girls really do mature faster than guys..they are really like..3 or 4 years ahead of their male peers..... most females stop growing physically around the age of eighteen, men ..they continue to grow into the mid twenties; no matter what ppl say,lol. I am not saying that you or I are done growing, but that females like us should have the choice to be with whomever we want, reguardless of their age...but based merely on the way the personalities interact.... as far as your mum goes...i have no idea,lol. my grandparents think my baby is 19, my mom found out how old he was when we got arrested. HAHA ok well ..i dont know if you're ever going to get this so i'm going to email ya just so i didnt waste my time writing this! hope everything turns out ok! Link to comment
musicguy Posted September 20, 2003 Share Posted September 20, 2003 I'm in the same situation with my gf who's a senior in high school and I'm 24 yrs old. Her parent's don't really know about me and she's kinda afraid to tell them and she's hinted to her mom about me (from what she says) and I do tell her mom about me, so her mom knows a little about me. So try to talk to your parents about inviting him over to dinner or some place to get to know him better. Link to comment
musicguy Posted September 20, 2003 Share Posted September 20, 2003 I'm in the same situation with my gf who's a senior in high school and I'm 24 yrs old. Her parent's don't really know about me and she's kinda afraid to tell them and she's hinted to her mom about me (from what she says) and I do tell her mom about me, so her mom knows a little about me. So try to talk to your parents about inviting him over to dinner or some place to get to know him better. Link to comment
musicguy Posted September 20, 2003 Share Posted September 20, 2003 I'm in the same situation with my gf who's a senior in high school and I'm 24 yrs old. Her parent's don't really know about me and she's kinda afraid to tell them and she's hinted to her mom about me (from what she says) and I do tell her mom about me, so her mom knows a little about me. So try to talk to your parents about inviting him over to dinner or some place to get to know him better. Link to comment
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