Being the "other"?

[Ineedtotalk]

I dated a girl for 5 weeks. I left the her because I had to move (for school reasons) to another city which is 6 hour driving. Well, during the first week she told me that she had a boyfriend in Spain. She is in the States for a 2 year internship. She been with his boyfriend for 4 years. I continued with her after the first week because I really did like her and I was going to move so I did not expect it to be a searious relationship. So, after I left her she told me that she wanted to still keep in touch with me. She told me that she really likes me and wants to keep our relationship. I felt the same way. Its been 2 week since I moved. We been talking and emailing each other everyday. She also told me that she keeps talking to her boyfriend in Spain. But that she is confused does not know how she feels. Her boyfriend is coming to visit her in July. She says that she is going to see how she feels when she sees him. I really don't know what to do? I don't what to get hurt. I really like her, sometimes I think she is going break up with his boyfriend and another she is going to stay with me.

[JJRadical]

Long distance relationships 9 times out of 10 ( i can't source this statistic,its a guesstimate) come to an end on that fateful first visit. Environments change people...

 

Don't panic. Slow your communication with her...let some time start to fill between emails, shorten their length, and keep it light and relaxed...respond to her emails about her currrent boyfriend with passive indifference...mention how Starbucks gave you a grande when you asked for a large...give her space so when he starts getting all possessive she'll be thinking about what a great secure guy you are...if she mentions her boyfriend not only are you not threatened or jealous but you are amused...persistance is your enemy and vulgar...absense is your friend and confident...

 

...6 hour drive?!...if you plan on continuing this you'd better hope biofuels get here sooner...and don't use this as an excuse to not reach out and be social at your school...the more your occupied the less likely are you to give in to freaking out and calling her...

[nottoogreen]

Hi Ineedtotalk,

 

Please read the post by JJRadical again. He has well summed up what you are up against.

 

Avoid LDR "at all cost".

 

She is in a LDR for a long time and inscure. To eventualy substitute that LDR for a LDR with you won't help her, and likely will be very hard on you as you lost your gf just in February.

 

You can get out now and keep looking for someone stable closeby. It will take time, be patient.