@ a lost

[NsoIwrite]

I am having major issues with my fiance'. We have been together for a little over a year. We currently live together. Recently there has been issues in communicating, where he thinks I don't communicate enough without him bringing something up, personal or otherwise. At this point he has begun to shut me out, won't talk to me at all and when he does it is with harshness. We are both very complex individuals, we come from similar backgrounds. On top of being shut out, he has recently gone on line and started chit chatting with other females, saying he would like to get know them (Females that are close to our area). I don't know what to do or think. I am just @ a lost

[Skippy]

more info pls

[RayKay]

I am having major issues with my fiance'. We have been together for a little over a year. We currently live together. Recently there has been issues in communicating, where he thinks I don't communicate enough without him bringing something up, personal or otherwise. At this point he has begun to shut me out, won't talk to me at all and when he does it is with harshness. We are both very complex individuals, we come from similar backgrounds. On top of being shut out, he has recently gone on line and started chit chatting with other females, saying he would like to get know them (Females that are close to our area). I don't know what to do or think. I am just @ a lost

 

How long have you been together?

 

My advice, don't marry him!

 

The truth is everyone is "complex", but that does not excuse bad behaviour, and it certainly does NOT permit him to go looking for other females (how did you find that out?). He's thinking of cheating on you if he has not already.

 

Actually my advice is more to leave him, never mind not marrying him, unless this gets sorted out ASAP and he is willing to make it work. If not...um, time to leave.

[Beyondthesea]

On top of being shut out, he has recently gone on line and started chit chatting with other females

 

Whoa! No matter what kind of communication problems you two are having, he has no right or reason to be doing this.

 

I believe it's time you say that either he spends some time learning to communicate with you, or else you leave. If he is already looking for another woman and you're engaged, how would it be if you were married?

[kuhl282000]

Hi There

 

Let me start by saying you are no more complex than any of us. We are all different and yet all the same when it comes to feelings of the heart. The bottom line is we don't want to get hurt and feel betrayed.

 

As far as not talking to one another, that is something we learned in elementry school. And in a relationship it is a form of payback, and not in a good way. As far as snapping at you when he does talk, comes from un-resolved issues he still has towards you. What is happening now can not be much fun, and always having to walk on eggshells. In a way it really is a form of mental abuse and can be very damaging to the relationship.

 

As far as looking at other girls on line and contacting them. What you have to ask yourself is why would you let "ANYONE" put you through this. I don't know this guy at all, and we all come in here for our own reasons. But if it were me, I would have to say to myself, what in the world am I doing. A year is not a long time to really get to know someone, and now maybe his true colors are coming out. I don't know what you're situation is, but I will tell you if you don't confront it that is will get worse.

 

You have to settle the problem and not the symtom. If this guy is starting this type of behavior already what do you think you have to look forward to in years to come. I'll tell you what, more abuse. If the shoe were on the opposite foot and you were talking to other guys, he would drop you like a hot potato. If you live with this guy, I would really consider packing my bags and leaving that enviorment and getting myself together at all costs and for the sake of you're own sanity. Have you ever heard the expression playing games. The games that are being played now are very hurtful to you (my main concern) and the relationship willl never be the same. Because everytime you have a fight, you will now always doubt him, and you will. And the truth is, who wants to live like that ? Not me, not ever.

 

Good luck, but you have some tough choices ahead of you either way. It will get worst before it gets better. And not talking is a non-form of communication and a baby game of locking the other out.

It's called withdraw, and its a fact when they do that if you don't stop it right away.......well you know the answer to that one you're living it.

 

Warm Regards

Kuhl

 

[mccarleighp]

if he wont talk to u about this why dont u try writing him a latter about what he is doing and about the way it is making u feel