Sincerity vs putting up an act

[perry22]

I have recently found out that my fiancee betrayed me sometimes back and have confronted her. We spoke, she asked for my forgiveness and gave me the assurance that mistakess will not repeat itself. I decided to forgive and move on as far as this matter is concerned.

 

After this, she has been very loving and caring to me. She said so many times about how much she love me more now and also her respect for me having grown due to this incident.

 

However I tend to take what she is giving with a pinch of salt (without her knowing) since in my mind, I am not sure if she means it with her sincerity or she is just putting up a mask for the time being to try to win my trust and heart back? She has this tendency to tell white lies and she is also quite an introvert.

 

This forum has many contributors who gave good advises and I would like to hear some insight into my fiancee's behaviour. We have been together for 1 year and she is currently pregnant as well. Thanks in advance for your contributions!

[Momene]

People can make one mistake and learn from it. I did a long time ago but I was never found out and never repeated it with the girl in question or my current wife. On the other hand, some are just serial adulterers and players. Has she got a history of cheating in previous relationships?

[yeawutever]

Yea, most people learned and never do it again. But if she was a repetitive liar and possible cheater, then she's not ready to settle for a relation. Was she always flirty with just any guy she met??

[perry22]

According to her, the betrayal that took place did not go all the way although I was not sure. Anyway to me, an emotional betrayal is as bad as, if not worst than, a physical one since we all know the an emotional one could easily resulted in a point of no return.

 

We spoke about her past relationships before and she claimed she has never cheated. The thing about her is that she is quite introvert so sometimes it is very hard to know what she is thinking.

 

One thing I do know about her is that she lack a bit of self confidence. So sometimes perhaps to avoid getting me upset, she might tell some white lies to save the explanation.

 

Without doubt, our chemistry has become stronger since I confronted her last week and the thing that I keep pondering on my own is whether if she is really for real or just putting in extra due to the guilt/trying to win my trust back.

 

Sometimes I feel that I don't understand her so much.....

[Momene]

If you only discovered last week you need a lot more time to rebuild the trust issues. Say 2 months min.

[sir sirloin]

Once a cheater always a cheater

[Momene]

Once a cheater always a cheater

 

Sorry, I disagree. There are serial cheaters but many people do it once and never do it again, like me.

 

I think if anyone does it twice, they're 90% likely to do it a 3rd and subsequent time.

[Starfall]

I think she is definitely being truthful with you on this.

You confronted her on this issue. She was probably carrying the baggage around and was relieved at your confrontation. She was able to apologize and has a "weight" lifted off her shoulders. She more than likely feels more love for you for #1- the way you handled it, and #2- that you have forgiven her. It's out of the way now and I think you should see that she is for real... and thankful to have you. Many people make mistakes.. and many people learn from them.

[perry22]

Thanks to all for your reply. This was my first post on the other section if you wanted to read more about the background