Stinkweed Posted May 17, 2006 Share Posted May 17, 2006 I can't help it... I wish I didn't feel this way, but I can't help it. It feels like a huge void in my chest... Like I know I've wasted my life, and well... As I've said a bunch of times, I don't have a whole lot of time left to really be young... It's like, I realized that I've got nothing to do... Schools over for me, there's no place I'm supposed to be at, no more people to talk to, and I guess I realize that all those familiar faces and people I wanted to befriend, but never did, are meaningless... I'll never get many of those chances back... But that's not all of it... It's just like... I can't picture myself in the future anymore. I'm just sailing blindly through the fog, because when I try to see I feel horrible. What am I to do now? I know I'll meet new people and stuff, but it's definitively not gonna be the same, plus I feel like I've wasted enough of my life, and I don't wanna wait to do anything that can be done RIGHT NOW anymore... Why is it that I see stuff that should be just basics in life, yet it makes me so depressed? I think I need to talk to a therapist (yep, I still haven't done it). I wish I could also hang out with people or something, because it takes my mind off of these things... I wish I had a rewind button for life... Or at least a "stop", or a "things go your way" one... Link to comment
boxinggirl89 Posted May 17, 2006 Share Posted May 17, 2006 well i dont think you will have wasted your life at all as your only 18 you still have everything in front of you.. you just need a push up the * * * to achieve this which means you need to do something your good at and build up your confidence. i did it with child care.. i pushed myself onto level 2 course and now im opushing my self to level 3 so i can be a nanny! Thats all you can do and i know you can do it coz anyone can do.. and if it helps you to hang out with people to take your mind off things then you should join a club or something you like to do! All you need to do is practise on what you want to do and achieve in life and stick to this i am sure you can do it coz if i can then you can! i hope oyu do good in whatever you choose *hugs* take care and if u want to pm me.. go ahead and il help you out! luv frankee x x Link to comment
blueangel Posted May 17, 2006 Share Posted May 17, 2006 I was just there. This is the second phase of self awakening. Keep searching for something deeper. You'll find it if you knock hard enough. Then, you'll "get it." You have to sort of "get" something about God and life before anything can get easier. In life, we are all searching for purpose. We are all looking for things to do. Without that, we don't feel human enough or good enough. Stop comparing yourself to such an image. Stop and love yourself anyway. Give in to loving yourself. take walks and do things for yourself. Have you ever thought of life that way? Search to love yourself and then you'll figure out what to do. Link to comment
AwdreeHpburn Posted May 17, 2006 Share Posted May 17, 2006 dude - I totally feel ya. Sooooooo wish I had a rewind button!! You're NOT alone. Link to comment
Stinkweed Posted May 17, 2006 Author Share Posted May 17, 2006 It's just that when I'm by myself I just start thinking about things... Things that only make me not want to live anymore... I dunno what to do anymore... It's like a cycle: I feel ok one day, then the next something happens or maybe i just realize something, and I start feeling so horrible... I try to watch tv, I try to read, I try to work out, I even try video games, but nothing stops these thoughts... I'm just getting tired that in life I never get what I truly want the most... That things just can't go MY way. I'm tired of life... I realize things too late... And I guess that I used to not feel so bad because there were so many things I had the option of doing... I mean, even though I hadn't actually done them, I still had the time, and everything and that kept me from feeling so bad... Now I guess things are different. I'm done with highschool, out into the real world. Time to get serious, no more of those "stupid" dreams. Link to comment
Stinkweed Posted May 17, 2006 Author Share Posted May 17, 2006 Yous see!? I suddenly started feeling better... It usually lasts a lot longer, though. I could probably survive for the rest of my life, but the thought that every time I feel this void and depression just steals days away from my life (just like it has always done, except it used to be A LOT worse when I was like 14, but it has sssssllllllooooowwwwwlllyyyy gotten better over the years) is just unbearable... To waste even MORE time!?!? I think it's just unacceptable... I have to fight this back somehow. Link to comment
Stinkweed Posted May 17, 2006 Author Share Posted May 17, 2006 Seriously, though... I think I need help. Link to comment
AwdreeHpburn Posted May 17, 2006 Share Posted May 17, 2006 then you should get some. Stop putting it off Link to comment
Stinkweed Posted May 17, 2006 Author Share Posted May 17, 2006 then you should get some. Stop putting it off I will... But i mean, it'd be easier if my parents supported me a little. Do you think I should tell them I wanna see a therapist/shrink? I want to start ASAP! Link to comment
Stinkweed Posted May 17, 2006 Author Share Posted May 17, 2006 I'm reading this shrink's profile and it says: TREATMENT PREFERENCES Orientation: Cognitive Behavioral (CBT) Eclectic I do not know what it means... Any clues? Would that be convenient for my case? Link to comment
Stinkweed Posted May 17, 2006 Author Share Posted May 17, 2006 It's just that I read the rest of the shrink's description and I liked it... now if only I knew what the heck those methods are... Link to comment
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