How important is it for two people to have a lot in common?

[vermilion]

I've been interested in this guy for a while. He and I talk a lot and joke around and share a lot of similar views on things. The only thing we really have in common though is that we both get good grades and like to read and like similar movies.

 

We like some of the same music but I listened to a few of his favorite bands and found them absolutely repulsive- which is saying something because I can listen to almost anything.

 

And he's into things like paintball and motorbikes that I know nothing about except that I'd suck at them.

 

I really like talking to him though and think he's funny and cute and smart, etc.

 

But is it enough to just be able to joke around and be able to talk about random things or do I have to lie about myself to get him more interested in me?

 

I get the feeling he likes me from the amount of attetion he gives me and other things but if he gets to know me better I think he'll lose interest.

[AwdreeHpburn]

well...let's see, you both:

 

1) joke around

2)get good grades

3)like to read

4)like movies

5)like similar music

6)like him....

 

Seems like you have enough in common to start a lil' sumthin'.

 

You certainly don't have to like paintball or motorbikes and he doesn't have to like makeup. You can each have your own things too.

 

ding ding ding We've got a winner.

 

Sounds like a good match to me!!

[vermilion]

 

You certainly don't have to like paintball or motorbikes and he doesn't have to like makeup.

 

Woah...makeup? Was that a dis? Haha, just kidding. I didnt put any interests.

 

But I can't help but think that there's plenty of girls who are into those things that he likes, but they're really loud and stupid, which he says is irritating. But maybe I'm boring?

[Phoenix69]

It is important to have some things in common. But as someone on this forum once said. You need to have enough things in common to be able to talk, but with enough differences to keep you interested. Think about it. If you two were exactly alike, what would be the point in trying to get to know someone better, when you already know everything about them cause they are exactly like you?

 

My BF and I couldn't be more different. Yes, we've had our ups and downs, but two years later, we are still finding out new things about each other. He is into Metal, I am into dance music. (Just an example )

 

Good Luck and keep us posted

[orgasmictofu]

I think you should have the more important things in common. IE, children. But you're not at that point yet.

 

If you both have fun around eachother, who cares if you're into the same things. Be open minded about his interests, take an interest in what he does, and he should do the same.

 

Go for it.

[AwdreeHpburn]

what??? a dis??

 

No, Not at all.

 

I was just saying that he should have somethings that he's interested in outside of you and you should have somethings outside of him.

 

I was using stereotypical male and female things for simplicity's sake.

 

Sorry about that, I meant no offense......

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

I don't think it's that important to have all interests the same. In fact I rather like it when I'm dating a guy who goes off with his guy-buddies and does ...whatever it is they do. I don't like having somone hanging around all the time. This guy I'm seeing now is into a lot of sports and activities that I'm not, and I'm into my own that he's not, and that's just fine. Nothing wrong with that. After time I'm sure there are going to be certain things that you learn you enjoy doing together. Could be boating, or biking, or hiking, or antiquing....could be anything.

 

More important are fundamental things.... Do you like eachother? Do you respect eachother? Do you get along? Do you have similar viewpoints on life, and attitudes towards things? Those things are so much more important.

 

I always think it's shortsighted when I hear people say that they need to find a partner who is into a certain activity....Just for an example...."He/she MUST love Seafood", or, "He/she MUST love to dance". Sheesh, I like to dance too. But If I met a guy who was perfect in every other way, I think it would be a bit foolish to turn him away for something that transient. I mean I guess I could understand if the person was a professional ballroom dancer....maybe....but other than that, is it really that crucial to participate in all of the same activities? Or to have all the same likes and dislikes? No. It really isn't.

[DropToZero]

Easiest way put...because I've tried all 3...

 

1) Nothing in common : you both will never hang out, never want to do anything together because you hate one another's interests or don't like one another enough to put him/her before you and do what they want to do and at least TRY it to see if you may like it.

 

2) Middle ground, have same and different interests:

 

3) Everything in common: it's okay at first, but in the end, I dont think it's the best. You end up spending too much time together possibly...and since you have such similar interests, arguments and problems arise due to the smallest things in those similarities. Also, if you decide to go do one of these similar interests with your friend and don't invite he/she to go along, they'll feel left out.

 

...maybe not the best explanation, and I'm sure there are others to attest otherwise to this, but I guess you could say I've tried it all ways...and the middle ground relationship seemed to be the best. Good luck! and yes it seems he likes you...so go...

[renaissancewoman101]

You should have some things in common and some different things too, so that you guys can have stuff to talk about when you guys are together. It is also fun to explore each other's likes and dislikes and see how different and similar you guys are. Each of you should be open to trying out new things that the other person likes. You may not end up liking it, but you should give it a try so that the other person knows that you appreciate them.

 

Most times, it is good to be different. But, if you are different in your core values and beliefs, then it may be a problem. Like if one of you views success as in money, prestige, and a good job, and the other views success as being happy with life, doing what you want, and who cares about the money, then you guys may have a problem or two.

[justwonderingkid]

if you guys can both make each other smile, laugh, happy.. what else is there to need. a different balance of smiliarities and differences works for different people.

[AwdreeHpburn]

I doubt he thinks your boring if he likes chatting to you and laughing and joking and stuff. Sounds like you're what he's interested in.

[wexmen]

he should take initiatives to look for something in common with you , if he really love you, let take me as an example , i wastoo obsess with computer game previosly , whenever i played the game she just sat beside and watch or chating with friends. until one day i found that she was getting further and further from me , that was the time i took action to save this relationship .

 

but it was too late already, because my friends knew my weakness and took initiatives to be close with her by acting has something in common with her like outdoor game.

 

i think you should do something to let him know his realtionship with you can be no longer like before if he still do not care about it .