Fallen in love with a younger friend, what do I do??

[bgt7]

About 4 years ago I met a girl who was much younger than me, and since then she and I have become very close (never intimate). Over the years I've become very good friends with her family (they're like my second family now) and her parents and mine are good friends. Unfortunately, I always knew that I could fall in love with her, and I did. I'm sure she knows, but it's something we dont talk about. 4 months ago she got really mad at me and will barely talk to me and my life has never been so horrible. I need to know what to do! This girl is too important to me to just try and forget (and trust me, I've tried). I need to know how to talk to her about it without her getting freaked out! Help!

[Turboz]

I'm with SwingFox on the write to her thing. Send her a letter and tell her how you feel and that you miss having contact with her.

 

Ask her to at least give you a chance to rebuild your friendship and if that is ignored then it looks like you've lost the fight to remain friends.

 

As swingfox has said you cannot force someone to talk to you. You can however try to prompt for a response.

[glassbell]

Bonjour to you bgt7

 

What was the fight about that made her stop communicating with you like you did before? Did it perhaps have anything to do with your love for her, that has never been spoken of? She might be scared.. of the situation or perhaps of her own feelings? Or just afraid to loose a friendship she cherished and would have wished to keep it as it was.. I don't know, I don't know if her feelings are the same.

 

Putting too much pressure on her is no good idea in that case, it will freak her out like you said. Perhaps it's an idea to leave her alone for a little while without any contact between you two.

 

After a few weeks or whatever you feel is appropriate, contact her again explaining you don't want to loose her as a friend. If she doesn't want it, well so be it, as SwingFox and Turboz said. If you than leave her alone again she'll know you respect her needs and who knows, perhaps she'll contact YOU again at some point, realizing she lost a friendship.

 

~Glassbell

[raggamuffin]

Hello,

Take things one step at a time. Regain her friendship before you put all of this ive fallen in love with you stuff. Sort out the problems that caused you to have the disagreements in the first place. And when your friendship is strong and ontrack again tell her then. Best of Luck.