Isn't it ironical

[notanymore]

hi folks

two and half months have gone by since i called it quits on my ex for cheating on me.still i miss her,still i care for her,i wish she was there with me.i ask myself and you all , WHYY?

 

Even though I know she is not the person for me cos she broke my trust.Even though she has moved on and found herself a brand new bf, why do i keep missing her, why do i want her to come back.

 

had a dream about her yesterday that she and me were both back together, everything was just the same.i woke up with a heavy heart, have been down in the dumps ever since.Have been maintaining NC for the past week, though the last txt i sent was acknowleging her new relationship and the fact that we could remain friends.why do i pin my hopes on it?.I feel like calling her n giving her a piece of my mind.

 

am sick of convincing myself that its over ](*,) , but why do i fall back on it again.so much so that i have even extended my stay by one more month so that i m much more healed when i head back home.

Still its the same ol me with the same ol thoughts.

 

The irony of the situation is that the who should be guilty and repent for it all is havin fun whereas the other, whose only fault was that he loved her more than anything else is suffering every moment.

[notanymore]

folks help me out please,sorry if i am bothering you but the fact is , i m in pain.

i may be sounding desparate but the fact remains that responses from you all have made me much stronger person but i m not healed yet, still i fall back into those dull moments and suffer.get me out of this please.

[malcontent]

Hey,

 

You're in a tough situation, there's no doubt about it. I wish there were something that could make the situation easier to deal with, but in reality I think it's pretty much just a function of time.

 

I'm sure you've heard this from dozens of people and from probably hundreds of threads you've read on this and other boards, but the best way for you to cope with this situation is to concentrate on improving yourself and getting yourself to a place where you feel like you're the sh*t, for lack of a better term.

 

Personally, I've been working out a lot; both lifting weights and doing quite a bit of cardio. My goal is to get back to the physical condition I was in the summer I met my ex. For me, my mood and self-confidence have always been closely correlated to how I see myself physically (I know this is probably some sort of shortcoming, but it's always the way it's been so I'm going to go with it). As such, the best way for me to heal myself - both emotionally and physically - is to concentrate on taking the necessary steps to get in shape.

 

There are fringe benefits, too. The endorphin rush that follows a particularly intense cardio session is worth all the suffering and more. I always feel WAY better following a good workout, and when you feel better about yourself you honestly broadcast confidence and naturally become more appealing.

 

So I guess my advice boils down to this: I don't know your ex at all, but her actions indicate to me that she's selfish, probably has low self-esteem, and that she has very little respect for herself and even less for you. This is not the type of woman you want to be with, believe me.

 

You want to find a woman who is independent and comfortable with herself. For me, a MAJOR red flag is a woman who has never been single for any period of time. To me, that indicates insecurity and a lack of character - an emotional vampire, if you will.

 

Focus on self-improvement and doing things that make you happy and everything else should fall into place.

 

Keep your chin up, it'll get easier. Also, try telling yourself over and over that she was a cheating wh*re who doesn't deserve the pleasure of your company. That might help, too.

[thursday]

I completely agree.

 

Just find some goals you want to set, things you've always wanted to do or accomplish. Write down a list, get yourself to believe you are on the way fulfilling these goals.

 

By accomplishing these goals, you will feel much better about yourself and won't even need your ex in any way. I can't understand why you still want to be friends with her for the moment. That would just tear you down completely! Stay into NC with this girl till you feel completely over her. Besides she seems like a total ***** anyway.

 

I know the dreams can be quite sickening and depressing. Though, one day they will certainly have fade away if you keep doing NC and improving on yourself. Trust me on this one: you already have made alot of progress. It only seems like you're starting from scratch, but in reality you have moved on more than you realise right now.

 

Take care, you will do just fine

[jchan]

hey man try doing yourself a favour. don't give up hope. keep NC. don't be friends with her. you don't need that bullcrap she gave you. First of all, she cheated on you. you broke up with her. that was the right thing to do. i know it hurst. i know you invested a lot a love into her but remember, now that it's over, stop investing the love into her. the pain and the loss of trust is very normal when a relationship ends especially one that you're experiencing.

 

you're going through the normal cycle of a break up. first denial, than acceptance, then comes the gruelling process of healing. give yourself hope that you'll find someone else. give yourself hope that you'll heal. but never give yourself hope that you'll be back with her

 

just remember stay strong bro. keep on moving on one day at a time. it's going to be a rollercoaster of emotions. I've been there, i'm going through it as we speak, it's been almost 2 months of NC and trust me it sucked. had to deal with the bull * * * * right before my final exams. but remember this, love yourself the most. because the first and last love is self love.

 

although i try not to preach hate and anger. just remember this. what goes around will come around. she'll get hers. it's only a matter of time. one day you'll wake up all happy that you survived this and be with someone else all happy, and proud and strong. in her case, she'll wake up wondering where the best thing of her life went and why she gave up on such a wonderful person like you and go through the hurt 10 times worse. stay strong man

 

cheers

[Royltnxile]

So I guess my advice boils down to this: I don't know your ex at all, but her actions indicate to me that she's selfish, probably has low self-esteem, and that she has very little respect for herself and even less for you. This is not the type of woman you want to be with, believe me.

 

You want to find a woman who is independent and comfortable with herself. For me, a MAJOR red flag is a woman who has never been single for any period of time. To me, that indicates insecurity and a lack of character - an emotional vampire, if you will.

 

Very well said, Malcontent. Excellent post! I've been there and done that with a woman very much like this, and I know how much it sucks.

 

Notanymore - you are merely missing what you had before she cheated and broke your heart. It can never be like it was before she did that, so accept it and move on. Letting go is hard, but once you do, it's going to feel so much better! Just remember - what was, was, but isn't anymore.

[coooolsome]

Im sorry you feel that way. I know how you feel to a point. My ex broke up with me, broke my heart, maybe even broke up with me for someone else, dont really know. I feel like I dumped her, all the bad stuff is happening to me, but you know what, its all in the way you look at it. Karma has a way of coming back full blast. You might not see it now, but it will occur.

 

Stay positive, dont worry about what she is doing, b/c you honestly dont really know how she feels on the inside. The best revenge is to live a great life.

[deejay74]

Im sorry you feel that way. I know how you feel to a point. My ex broke up with me, broke my heart, maybe even broke up with me for someone else, dont really know. I feel like I dumped her, all the bad stuff is happening to me, but you know what, its all in the way you look at it. Karma has a way of coming back full blast. You might not see it now, but it will occur.

 

Stay positive, dont worry about what she is doing, b/c you honestly dont really know how she feels on the inside. The best revenge is to live a great life.

 

wow, i thought i was the only one feeling this way. my ex dumped me and i always suspected it was someone else but could never prove it.

 

from what i know, she's doing great. doing well in school, keeping really busy, she seems really happy, and she's going to london for a months internship and then to spain and portugal afterwards. so to me, it seems like she's better off w/o me and having the time of her life.

 

i was left behind completely devastated, my self-esteem was shattered, i've been "suffering" for almost 5 months (even though this has been a life changing experience and i have made some life-style changes as a result) and i STILL think about her and get sad when i do.

 

it's like, what did i do to deserve this? i didn't really do anything wrong to her but I am the one who's suffering and who's in pain. it feels azz backwards. ](*,)

[notanymore]

malcontent : point taken, will work towards self improvement,have to get myself back to where i was before i met her.its time to bounce back.thnx for the hope.

 

 

Deejay my friend , u are not alone, and no ,you did not do anything wrong to deserve this even though you have suffered these 5 months, list down the positives which have come your way, u ll realise , life is not that bad afterall.i know i tell myself the same thing everytime i feel low and lost out,

 

i stay all alone work 10 hours a day , only have the weekends to go out, something i start planning from monday itself.i drag myself to work , force myself to be happy that I am successful at my job, what if someone treated me like dirt, which i m not,

 

i have much more to look forward to.give urself hope , it helps, whenever the level of hope goes down, get urself a booster doze and raise ur spirits.

keep it up,u ll come out of it.