Has this guy lost interest in me??

[Lana85]

Hey everyone I'm new to this site. Well anyways I need advice about this one guy I've been talking to. We met in February and we hit it off pretty good. We called and texted each other at least once a day and hung out like twice a week. He told me he liked me alot and would make future plans with me. Also, in March i went on vacation and he would tell me he missed me and all that good stuff. We did have sex for the first time at the end of March and then a second time like a week later. Then about two weeks after that (second week of April) he wasn't calling me as much. Everytime i called him he would text me back as if he didn't want to bother talking to me. So basically we would only talk thru text messages. Last week at the end of my text message i wrote "give me a call" and he ended up calling me on friday. We talked and kept it simple. Saturday night i send him a text asking if he had fun last nite (he went to a club) and he replyed by saying " No cuz i wasn't with u lol". I don't know if he is being serious or juss playin around with me. He hasn't asked me to chill in a few weeks. So maybe he is juss not into me anymore and im not getting the hint?? Last night i got fed up and sent him a text saying " Hey listen, i kinda been thinkin bout u.... but it seems like u dont want to chill anymore...if so then thats ok but juss let me know". He still hasn't wrote back yet. Does anybody have any ideas wat is up with this guy?? I would really appreciate it. Thanks

[fishrrshortae]

Hey girl

 

A similar thing happened to me (back in Feb too! woohoo)

 

Honestly yeah it does sound like he isn't that into you.. If he was, he'd be tripping all over himself to hang out again. It's going to suck for a while but I wouldn't contact him any more, and just chalk it up to a lesson learned. The best thing I could suggest, honestly, would be to wait a long time before sleeping together ... a few months at least... so you know you're on solid ground when you're getting attached.

 

Take care!

[arwen]

I think so too. I had the same with a guy I met when studying abroad. We had several dates, he appeared very much into me, and stopped contacting me after like 3 weeks. I didn't really mind because I wasn't looking for a relationship, but it still bothered me that I actually sent a message he didn't reply to. Bad stuff for the ego!

 

I agree with fish, don't start sleeping with someone until you are exclusive and sure both of you want the same out of the relationship.

 

I think he felt too attached, maybe he wasn't really looking for anything serious. I'd say move on, and don't pay any attention to him anymore. It will just put you down.

 

Ilse

[amtjrtcet]

He's just not that into you.... I know it sounds a little harsh, but I wish I would have had someone tell me that about the last guy I was seeing. Same situation. Don't take it as something you did, its not you, its him.

 

You've given him the opportunity to be honest with you & a way out if he's looking for one. He may not ever respond, don't expect him to.

 

Move on honey. He's not a real man if he can't be honest with you.

 

You're better then him.

[Pixiemeat]

Yeah, if this guy doesn't have the decency to get back to you then I'd forget it. If he was interested he'd be falling over himself trying to see you again.

 

Now I know how tempting it is to see this as all your fault, but sweetie, trust me, it isn't. If he doesn't have the courtesy to return a text then is this someone you really want to spend time with?! Forget him, he's so not worth it.

[Lady Bugg]

Hey there...

 

I am sorry to say but I think you sleeping with him so soon was DEFINETLY

a factor. I am in NO way judging you..hell I've done it, and learned a HARD lesson. I just think that once you sleep with someone before they have gotten the chance to know who you are, or to grow an attachment to you, they REALLY have nothing to look forward to.

 

Have you ever been a little hungry, but if you ate just a little bit, you would satisfy your hunger but you didn't feel gorged? But if you stuffed yourself, completely satisfying yourself....you feel as if you never want to eat again?

Well the same is true in this case....men don't want to be satiated right off the bat. They want a 'taste" of what is coming next....does that make sense?

[angela1234]

I agree that maybe he's not interested in u for a relationship. He probably does like u though he just doesn't want to go out with u and doesn't want to owe u anything. Did u ask him what he wanted? Did u ever have this conversation with him?

 

I do not agree though that the sleeping with him too early is the main factor. If a guy really likes u he can wait, but even if u had slept 2gether on the first day that wouldn't change anything to it. I know lots of great couples and lots of married ones that slept together on the first day they met. That means the sexual chemistry is there and if the guy respects u it won't change anything. I'm not telling u to use this strategy either. Not at all!

 

I just mean don't try to find what u could've done wrong for this to happen. It will just make u feel bad. And u shouldn't. U acted the way u did and u r still worth being loved and respected.

[fishrrshortae]

I know lots of great couples and lots of married ones that slept together on the first day they met.

 

Angela - that's true, but I'd say that at least 8/10 times, it'll kill the relationship.

 

am sorry to say but I think you sleeping with him so soon was DEFINETLY

a factor. I am in NO way judging you..hell I've done it, and learned a HARD lesson. I just think that once you sleep with someone before they have gotten the chance to know who you are, or to grow an attachment to you, they REALLY have nothing to look forward to.

 

Ladybugg - I too have been there and done that, and I def agree that it can kill the relationship soon. I'm sure he was interested at one point but he's no longer calling OP and letting her know he's interested, which makes me think that definitely had something to do with it.

[Lana85]

Last night he ended up texting me back saying " I'll chill... I never said I didn't want to". Well I am not going to bother to call him or text him. If he really wanted to chill with me he would of asked me long ago. Thanks everyone for the advice, it was greatly appreciated. =)