In need of exposure therapy...

[shybob]

I simply cannot undress in front of other people. Not in a romantic setting, not even in the gym. I think it goes beyond shy and borders on anxiety/phobia. I really want to lose my inhibitions and just strip and get passed this, but I can't seem to take the first step. It so embarrassing that I have never discussed this and don't think I could tell anyone I know how I feel.

 

Any ideas on how/where I can take it off in order to get over this anxiety?

[the yang to the worlds yin]

Well are you self conscious of your body?

[shybob]

yes. i am extremely self consious of my body. i am tall, slender, nice looking, but i think i am "inadequate" to put it delicately, but i also recognize that i have distorded body image. i need to break out of this mental cycle of a bad body image and insecurity.

[Mrocza]

Are you in therapy?

 

I think you need to find a way to boost your self esteem or face your fears.

 

The body you have is "inadequate"? What are you comparing it to? Sometimes I get into obsessing over body image and self image and I'm looking through magazines, or at people who put all of their time and effort into their bodies...the truth is, no one has that elusive perfect body.

 

Of course, you know this, and you freak out anyway. The thing is, what specifically bothers you? When did this problem occur? What happens to make you freak out?

 

You need to assess it objectively to figure yourself out.

[shybob]

Mrocza,

first of all, your picture is hysterical!

 

i am not in therapy. maybe i should be. this is really embarrassing, but, specificaly, i think that my penis is very small. i don't know why it embarrasses me so much. i rationally know that it is not the end of the world and that it doesn't define me. however, that said, i simply freak out, or more aptly completely avoid, any situation where i might be revealed.

[Mrocza]

Lol, thank you. Cute, eh?

 

You think you have a small penis? Is it actually? Not sizing up to Ron Jeremy is a good thing. Was there some kind of specific event that made you come to that conclusion?

[shybob]

very cute. Lol on the ron jeremy comparison...

 

No, without being to graphic, it is smaller than average or at least on the very low end of the average range. i've had a few experiences where women spoke of former parters being larger, and i've experienced a little teasing as a boy in the showers. what makes it seem worse is that when flacid it really shrinks up a lot which sort of magnifies the smallness. but it is still on the small side when erect. (i can't believe i am saying all of this...)

[Mrocza]

Honestly, when it's soft, it's meant to be small. And it always looks small.

 

Those girls are losers, honestly. Have you ever compared their bodies to other girls? Not usually, because you're too busy being into the person, you're into them for THEM, not because their boobs are like Pamelas and * * * is like whoever.

 

I think you just need to get past that thought that you don't measure up - because what do you have to measure up to? Unless you're inverted, you have a perfectly capable penis.

 

Some say size matters or doesn't, others say girth...it depends. But frankly, big or small, or thick or thin or concave - it doesn't matter unless you know what you're doing...if you catch my drift.

 

If you're confident with it, it won't matter. I'm serious - it won't.

[shybob]

Thank you Mrocza for all of the nice posts. I've never discussed this with anyone before, so it is a bit overwhelming for me to talk about. Your comments are so helpful! I know everything you say is true, but it is hard to take that first step towards self-acceptance. I think my confidence, specifially, my sexual confidence, is shaken because I focus so much on my size, that I have not really focused on the moment enough. Instead of enjoying sex, I am thinking "my penis is too short or too thin..." I am confident in other aspects of my life, so I have something to build on. I wish it were as easy as overcoming other fears, like public speaking, where practice would make me more comfortable. There really isn't an opportunity to practice being naked!! Anyway, thank you again, and if you can think of any more advice on how to improve my body image and self esteem, I would love to hear it!

 

thank you!

[Süsser Tod]

I know where you are coming from. And let me tell you just one thing. Your penis is the least important of your sexual organs.

 

Once you get to understand that, you'll be all set.

[Dako]

I'd guess most guys think they're too small, whether it's true or not. If you're really smaller than other guys, it's only an issue if it bothers you.

In time, you'll get used to your equipment and as Susser Tod said, it's not the center of the universe at all.

 

In my case, I envy chipmunks.

[sir sirloin]

hit a public pool at about 7am when all the old dudes are there....you will immediately feel better about yourself

 

just look at michaelangelo's david statue...that "ideal man" has a mushroom cap! as long as you have an "outie" then that is all that matters

 

as for chicks just worry about making her feel loved and special before the pants come off, and if you do that well enough she will be the one obsessed over pleasing you

[Jorus Cbaoth]

The real question is, why would you want to undress in front of other people? Being naked is a sacred thing. Kind of like reading a paper on the throne. I don't want that interrupted. Guys laughed at you in the shower, you say? That's more creepy to me than embarrasing. The last thing I look at in the company shower is another dudes pork n' beans.