Well i was getting better

[Jeremyg77]

i dont no if any of u followed my story but about 4 months ago me and my ex broke up we didnt wanna but her feelings changed some but we wanted to see if we could work it out...so we waited and 3 weeks ago she says she wants to move on so i accpeted it no wanting to but still did....we talked on the phone for an hour 2 nights after that she said she has been hanging out with this guy as a friend just to get her mind off of things...i heard alot of things such as she kissed him..i asked her about it cuz we both have feelings for eachother and she said yes but notging else then yesterday i heard they did everything but sex and they are together now...that hurt so bad that i got so upset soooo angry that i went off on her... she lied to me about everything it might be hard for all you to understand butthere is alot that she did to me over the 4 months we have been broken up for....but anyways i got angry and called her alot of names and just went off on her i kno it wasnt good cuz i have no right too but she was my first love and i hate to see her move on that fast nowww i think im not gunna ever talk with her again...alot of stuff happened she changed as a person she used to be awsome now she is just not the same...she isnt the person i once loved

[spitkicker]

wow... I am in such a similar situation to you that it's not even funny.

 

first you need to focus on yourself and improve yourself. That's what I did, and it seems to be working. I mean, Success is the best revenge, but I'm not improving myself to get revenge I'm doing it to better myself period. That's what YOU should be doing.

 

Also, initiate NO CONTACT to the Ex. I have been trying to and when I am successful at it, I feel a whole lot better. It's just when the ex tries to contact me is when I take a step backwards.

 

I dunno man, it sucks that we're in this situation, but trust me it's nice to have someone to talk to about this. And since we're in the same situation, of course I'll have your back on this.

 

The problem I'm going through right now.. is when the ex makes contact I start thinking about the good ole days, and believe that there is still a chance between us. Then I get all down about things.... That's why I can't stress enough, NO CONTACT will be your best friend through out this ordeal.

 

Good Luck

[Jeremyg77]

thxx man yeah i have been doingnot contact i said all that stuff to her sn but she wasnt at the comp so technically i didnt talk to her

[spitkicker]

yeah man.. about the aim thing... YOU HAVE TO be sure that you cut off contact through aim. Meaning don't let her see when you're online and don't let yourself see her when she's online.

 

Trust me man it will really mess with your head if you see her online and she doesn't talk to you or you don't talk to her... Or ever worse you are tempted to see her profile.

 

Also no contact means.. don't keep tabs on her also.. and avoid any type of details that might pop up with her invovled.....

 

trust me I made all these mistakes and it will burn!

[Jeremyg77]

i live right near here so i pass her house everday and i always look to see if she is home and in school she is friends with the same ppl as me so i see her everyday in the same group

[malcontent]

That whole situation sucks. My ex had a new guy a week after we split, but she'd been building that safety net for months.

 

I agree: no contact. It's tough when you live nearby; I live near my ex, too, so I see her around from time to time. She also waits tables at the place I used to hang out at all the time before she even lived around here. She's always in there with her new guy, so my only choices are to a) stay home b) go out of town or c) have to watch her be pawed by a guy who's as old as her father (61, she's 37).

 

Anyway, I guess that's sort of like your school situation, except that I don't have to be there, I want to go there. Either way, it's a risk.

 

I also agree a lot with what you said, spitkicker, that it definitely feels like you take a step back when the ex tries contacting you.

 

Long before I even found this site, I told her I needed to cut contact with her. I felt like it was the only way I could deal with the situation. Even though are relationship was far from perfect, there's something about another guy with her so fast that sets off some sort of primitive reaction in me or something.

 

Anyway, she'd try calling me a lot the week I started n/c, and like a fool one night (one in the morning on a Sunday, Xanax induced slumber) I answered my phone when she called.

 

Foolish. One step forward, two steps back that night. She cried and cried about how she was still totally in love with me whatever; basically had me feeling bad for her about the situation. She's a damn good manipulator, or I'm just a pushover...either way, it sucked.

 

Strict n/c is the only way to heal yourself, I think.

[spitkicker]

damn malcontent.. that crap happened to me too . Well basically, she called at 7:00 in the morning and I had no clue who it was so naturally I picked up (I was half asleep btw). Anyway, she told me it was her.. and basically even said that she knew it would work. Then she wouldn't let me off the phone... giving me some guilt trip bull crap.. Gotta stick to my guns tho.. No Contact is such a good idea. think about it this way... she has to want you too and she can't if you're always trying to be there.

 

Ohh another tip for you jeremy, since you will end up seeing her from time to time because of proximity, never initiate contact.. and act perfectly happy with everything... be friendly to everyone, be cool. and even though you definitely want to avoid the ex... if yall end up speaking.. act like you're having fun and have no worries. basically be super friendly and kill her with kindness.

 

Trust me it works.. and she'll see you in such a better light. Never make plans with her and always keep contact short.

 

Most importantly FOCUS ON YOURSELF and make yourself happy because NO ONE cares if you're happy except for you.