Women...

[novaseeker]

You could try to find a woman who is into more "guy" type things like you enjoy doing with your mates, for example.

[Ross_K]

But since a typical tomboy has masculine traits, would she be more attracted to beta males (sorta like a role reversal)? Or would she only be attracted to very alpha males?

 

You know what I mean?

[novaseeker]

Not necessarily a tomboy, but someone who likes some guy things. Some women like football/soccer, some women like to play the games guys like to play ... not all tomboys.

 

But as regards tomboys, no not all of them are attracted to alpha males either, not by a shot.

 

I think you should go easier on yourself, mate. It's a frustrating as hell sometimes, no doubt, but there are surely women who have something in common with you. It isn't as easy as striking up a conversation with the lads, to be sure, because women *are* different, but you can still find enough common ground if you find women who are interested in things you are. Joining clubs, taking classes, this kind of thing, where you are interested in the subject matter, are good places to meet women who have similar interests, and then right away you have a common ground, something in common you can chat about and get to know each other around.

[Momene]

Novaseeker's hit it on the head. There's someone there for you.

[littlemiss26]

I am very feminine however I love football, motorsports, rugby. I love going out on the bike and I play football for our ladies team. My man is not an Alpha Male. He enjoys going shopping with me and he never moans.

 

You'll get the combo right it just takes time.

[Spugly Fuglet]

Haven and hell all rapped in the best of packages and the gate keepers of life.

[Ross_K]

You'll get the combo right it just takes time.

 

Well, maybe I'll end up meeting one as a friend, I mean, it has happened before, only a couple of times though.

 

As far as a girlfriend, it'll never happen, it's so obvious that I was never ment to attract women, I'm just going to die alone never having had anyone. It's okay.

[monkey1]

It's never too late to have a girlfriend. You just need to be more confident. We ladies like confidence.

 

Hopefully your thearpy will help you work through some issues. From your pic, you look nice and approachable, so don't stress. Just try not to look at us like some species because we're just human like you.

 

Take it easy on yourself!

[Ross_K]

It's never too late to have a girlfriend. You just need to be more confident.

 

But when exactly is it going to happen for me? I'm 30 years old and no one offline has even shown interest in me yet.

 

We ladies like confidence.

 

Well, shy people can still manage to find a partner, and if you're talking about having confidence in myself, well maybe that could be it. But isn't shyness and lacking confidence in yourself exactly the same things?

 

Hopefully your thearpy will help you work through some issues.

 

Yeah hopefully, I'm really curious as to what he/she will say about women not wanting me.

 

 

From your pic, you look nice and approachable, so don't stress. Just try not to look at us like some species because we're just human like you.

 

Take it easy on yourself!

 

Thanks monkey1.

 

Yeah, I do like they way I look on my pic a lot, but I might not even look much like that in real life, I could look quite unattractive. There's plenty of photo's where I look bad, and the kind of responses I've got from women are that I look bad too.

 

I know everyone thinks I'm being negative, but I'm just being realistic.

[littlemiss26]

If you think that your unattractive then other people will pick up on it. You need to have some confidence in how you look.

You do look like a really nice guy. It will happen patience is a virtue.

[Ross_K]

I always used to believe I looked great, and because of that I always used to think that women must be attracted to me, but that never made any difference.

[Stinkweed]

Rules are annoying but they're put in place to ensure the survival of the species - us. Some are outdated, yes but you can't change society you can only adapt to it.

 

Oh yeah, what a great job we've done... killing ourselves and the planet! Our rules and our money-hunger bring global warming, pollution, wars and death. I don't call it survival... just slow death.

[monkey1]

littlemiss has a point, if you feel unattractive, women will think you're unattractive.

 

You know what you should try and do? Try speed dating. At least you'll meet ladies and you can practice on talking to women.

 

If that's too freaky for you, just find a girl you think looks ok and strike up a conversation. Put on some outfit you like and think you look good in and go out for a walk around town and see what happens. Make a goal for yourself and say, "I'm going to try and talk to 2 women today."

 

I remember I was on the bus recently and I ended up sitting next to some guy who had a box of photo paper. I'm a photographer and I was kinda scared to just start talking to some guy on the bus for fear he might think I'm weird or unattractive, but I decided to suck it up and try to strike up a conversation. I wasn't looking to ask the guy out or date him, but just talking to someone helps and makes your day and better yet, the long ride home go much quicker. It wasn't a fantastic conversation, but it was nice talking to a guy who enjoys photography too.

 

I don't think he thought I was weird, but you just gotta try and relax and go with the flow. Just say something like, "Can you believe all this rain we've been having? It's crazy, isn't it?" Just practice.

[Jonboy582]

Oh yeah, what a great job we've done... killing ourselves and the planet! Our rules and our money-hunger bring global warming, pollution, wars and death. I don't call it survival... just slow death.

Whats that even got to do with anything remotly linked to this topic. And I think he was referring more to more social rules people tend to follow, and if we did anything we wanted there would be no restrictions on what we burnt and used and there would be far more pollution in the world and these problems wuld be escalating quicker.

 

And as for Ross_K just have confidence in yourself, that always helps alot and the ladies pick up on that. This may seem irelivant, but there are many other social factors that in general women of different sorts like depending on where you live. Can you tell me like where you live (im not a freaky stalker) I mean in general like "A big city" or "Glasgow" or whatever you want to say. As I have observed different traits are more in demand in different areas.

 

Also the way you dress often puts the ladies off or attratcs them, what type of clothes is your usual casual wear youwear out?.

 

This is just a gues and please take no offence if im wrong, but I gues you live in a large city area, perhaps London but very likely more up north nearer Liverpool?

 

Jon

[Ross_K]

Johnboy, I'm originally from Manchester, but a few years ago we moved to a crappy area in the country side which is still up North.

 

My clothes are hard to describe, but I wear things like 'Bench', McKenzie', 'Timberland' and slightly baggy jeans.

 

I shown some pictures of some clothes that I had bought, to a friend on IM, here's a couple of them,

 

link removed

 

link removed

 

link removed

[Jonboy582]

First off wow what a good gues by me (kinda).

 

O right well therein may lie anouther issue not saying its be all and end all or even an issue. But your 30 and live in the country side, people there have different tastes than in the cities, your cloths dont seem bad, infact timberland is very expensive, but many people will look for a more safisticated look in a 30 year old, more smart/casual. I am by no means a fation guru but here are afew suggestions. Jeans are fine, but maybe try afew more shirts, personaly I would avoid McKenzie as to some that screams the term "chav", I am not one to lable people but its steryotipcaly worn by "chavs" along with tiberland but that does retain some class. I would just like to reinforce I am not insulting your appearance just offering afew suggestions here that may help, also one last point your hair looks good dont get me wrong, but a little more length (not much) would also not go a miss (although this is coming from a bloke who has long hair, so I may be a little bias).

 

Anyway choose to listen to as little and as much of what I suggested and sorry if I caused any offence. Hope all goes well.

 

Jon

[Ross_K]

I don't think I look anything like a chav, chav's usually wear crappy looking tracksuits.

 

Anyway, if I took your advice I wouldn't be being me anymore, and I wouldn't feel comfortable about how I look, I honestly don't think I look as good with longer hair (in fact I think I look pretty bad) or wearing more sophisticated clothes like shirts, I did actually used to wear shirts all the time (which obviously haven't made any difference) but I'm not keen on them anymore.

[Jonboy582]

O right fair enough, was just a suggestion after all, and aslong as your confident in what your in thats what matters.

[littlemiss26]

Do you have any female friends who could take you out with them??

Maybe if you spent some time in female company that would help.

[Ross_K]

I don't have any female friends.

[littlemiss26]

Ok, bad idea on my part.

Speed Dating could be a fun way to meet new women and boost your confidence.

[Stinkweed]

They were just examples... I guess they were out of context, though. So yeah, I ought to start a new thread if I wanna discuss such things... sorry.

[Jonboy582]

They were just examples... I guess they were out of context, though. So yeah, I ought to start a new thread if I wanna discuss such things... sorry.

haha no problem, atleast you not one of these people who would end up moaning at me.

 

Anyway Ross erm anouther thought, what do you do to socialise? where do you meet new people, if at all? Do you go to the pub? got any hobbies? do you have a job if so what is it, and is there much chance to meetnew people?

 

As I was thinking it also may be less incompatibility and more not being given the oppertunity to meet the right people.

[Ross_K]

Anyway Ross erm anouther thought, what do you do to socialise? where do you meet new people, if at all? Do you go to the pub? got any hobbies? do you have a job if so what is it, and is there much chance to meetnew people?

 

I don't do any of that stuff at the moment although I used to but it didn't make any difference. I do have hobbies though, I enjoy working out, watching TV, videogames and going on the net.

[monkey1]

Anyway Ross erm anouther thought, what do you do to socialise? where do you meet new people, if at all? Do you go to the pub? got any hobbies? do you have a job if so what is it, and is there much chance to meetnew people?

 

I don't do any of that stuff at the moment although I used to but it didn't make any difference. I do have hobbies though, I enjoy working out, watching TV, videogames and going on the net.

 

Ok Ross, you gotta stop saying "it didn't make any difference." I know you're tired of being rejected by women, but you gotta get yourself back out there. I know socialized with people freaks you out.

 

So maybe when you go to your thearpist and if they end up putting you on some meds, try attending a meetup (link removed.

 

Last night I went to my first one and I was so sad that only 4 people showed up. It was kind of awkward, but I want to meet other people who have the same interests as I do and make some new friends hopefully.

 

When are you going to see your thearpist?