Telling friends about my boyfriend...

[girlygirl86]

Hello, my name is Lauren. I have a boyfriend who lives in Ohio and I live in New Hamphshire. I met him online and have been talking to him for close to 5 months. I went to visit him, spent a week together, and I am completely in love with him. He is moving here in a month and we are going to get an apartment together and finally be together.

 

As you know many people dont agree with meeting someone online and dating them. I've done this once before and had a 2 year relationship with the guy. I've also met a few of my friends this way. The problem is that none of my family knows about him because I know they will not approve of this at all. Only a few of my friends know about him because I dont know if the others will approve either. I told my closest friends that I would never meet someone online again, and obviously I DID. So how do I tell them about all of this? It's so hard to keep all of my feelings in all the time and when he moves here I want them to see how happy I am, and what I've been missing for all my life.

 

Honestly I feel like a loser, but Im not losing him for anything, I just need to know how to tell everyone about it.

 

So please, any suggestions??

[Scout]

Is there anything about him besides the fact you met him online that you are worried your friends and family won't approve of? Anything at all? Just curious.

[RayKay]

Is it possible you can live in the same vicinity for a while before moving in together, it's just a big jump to go from LDR for 5 months (with only one week together in same spot) to moving in together and it can cause a huge load of issues. Know each other a bit more by living closer together first, rather then moving right in?

 

As for telling your friends, just tell them! It's your life, not theirs! I mean really would their opinion change your desire to be with him? If they really were that hard on you for it, well, they weren't being very supportive friends.

 

I really don't think online dating has that bad a stigma anymore, I have dated online and met lots of people, including my boyfriend whom I now live with, and we both plan on being together, well, for a VERY long time

[girlygirl86]

Theres nothing they wouldnt approve of, he is perfect for me in every way.

 

Just tell them!!...That helps alot actually, I gotta care less what other people think. And also, we are moving in together cuz he has no other place to go. He doesnt kno anyone around here, and even though i've only known him a short time we are unbelievably close. He proposed when i went to see him for a week....so I guess that makes him my fiance not my boyfriend. So yeah.

 

Thanks for the help so far!!

[Scout]

Does he not have money for an apartment of his own, or to share with someone else? The classifieds certainly have a lot of listings of people who need room-mates. Is he moving to your city with a job secured, or will he be looking for work after he moves there?

[girlygirl86]

He's going to be getting a job after he gets here. We are saving up money right now so we will be able get an apartment.

[Scout]

Ok, a few more questions, sorry...does he have his own apartment right now, or live at home or with others? Is he in school? How much do you really know about his ability to be financially stable? Because this is very important. I realize you are crazy about him. But nothing kills a relationship faster than being broke and scared about how you're going to pay your bills. Especially if it turns out your boyfriend is basically a lazy mooch. This is something you really need to make sure of 100% before you enter into any kind of lease with him.

 

One of the most charming, devastatingly handsome boyfriends I ever had turned out to be basically a bum. He could not hold a job, and preferred to party instead. We never had any money, were always on the verge of being kicked out of our apartment, and I regretted the day I ever moved in with him.

 

So, you should really make a point to understand your boyfriend's present work situation, his work history (had he had a lot of jobs, not stayed at any particular job for a long period of time?) Does he have a career plan in mind, and is he actively taking steps on it?

 

Also, and this is very important: does he have a solid relationship with his friends and family? Have you met any of them?