ASked to talk

[jordan_2]

hi,

 

alright, so just a question to the ladies (and gentlemen you guys are always more then welcome to answer as well, I just like to here the women's perspective).

 

If a guy friend were to ask to talk to you in private, what would you make of that? and I know this sounds really vague right now, but as the answers come, i'll try to be more specific with this 'hypothetical' *cough* situation

[AwdreeHpburn]

Well Jordan - as a girl - I have to say...yes, this is very vague.

 

It would TOTALLY depend on the guy & the place

 

Were you in the opera house and didn't want to be rude?

 

I have no idea what I would be thinking. In general, I guess if he's a friend, I would be wondering what he wanted to talk about and would hope eveything was ok with him.

 

So....*cough* up some more details...

[Imperceptible]

It depends on the time and place. If you asked in a group of friends I would think I made a social faux pas or you needed to let me know something about you, me, or someone in the group. If you asked me in class or at work one day when there are not a lot of people around or by email I would think you have a secret to tell me or something important to say or maybe a date(?).

[jordan_2]

ok perfect (I liked this segway)

 

it was through an e-mail...

 

and it was sort of random, like nothing really lead up to it, i just mustered up the courage to send her an e-mail asking to chat in privat

[Imperceptible]

Well if nothing led up to it and you haven't discussed anything with her that would tell her what's going on, then she's probably wondering if everything is okay with you and then she's probably thinking you want to meet wiht her to talk about something important and personal.

[AwdreeHpburn]

from a chat room? You asked her to go into a private chat room with you?

 

hmmmmm... I guess I would think you wanted to chat un-interrupted.

[jordan_2]

i'll explain further,

 

she's a friend of mine from school, that I used to have classes with

but this year i don't

and we kind of talk briefly every once and awhile, or online we'll chat for a bit.

[AwdreeHpburn]

honestly, I wouldn't think anything of it.

 

Sometimes when I'm on-line and my brother sees me, he suggests we chat in private.

[jordan_2]

i sent her an e-mail (which is not usual for either of us) but when i meant chat in privat, i meant like in person one on one...

 

(sorry my situation is not as clear as i thoguht it was)...

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Just ask her if you can talk to her, gesture that you want to step away...no big deal....in and of itself.

[Dating Coach]

What you are trying to say is that you are interested in this person and are curious if asking this person to chat privately gives away your interest. Am I right?

 

If so, I just want to say that this is not a good way of doing things. For one, chatting over IM, chat, email, or phone too much leads to friendzone. Two, yes it probably does hint of your interest. Three, it makes you look pretty weak to hold back instead of just stepping up and asking the person out. Four, if you are interested, being discreet about your interest leads to friendzone. It is best to be OBVIOUS about your feelings, and ask the person out for coffee or dinner.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Once again diggity is right.

[jordan_2]

no that's what i did

 

I just asked her to talk to her in person privately and thne I'm going to ask her from there...

[Dating Coach]

You set up a date to talk privately?

[jordan_2]

You set up a date to talk privately?

 

lol that does sound retarded doesn't it??

 

nah, i asked if we could meet up and just hang out....she seemed cool with it,

I'm gonna pursue then

 

thanks everyone