Oh crud...

[thegoodgirl04]

Just when I think I'm doing ok, those feelings come back and the tears. It seems like when I am driving home from work it all floods back. I am thinking better at work and really trying to keep busy but I can't help but think of how I was treated by someone I had feelings for. I know it doesn't do me any good to think about what he is doing and who he is with but I can't help it sometimes. Sometimes I just want him to contact me, but if he did I wouldn't reply anyway, how could I be with someone who didn't make me happy and was dishonest? The one question I have is, if he lied to me he will surly do it to someone else, right? A leopard doesn't change there spots?

[coollady1957]

I tend to agree that its probably not something that will change. From my experiences surely seems that MOST leopards do NOT change their spots.

 

I am not saying that it is not possible, but very unlikely in my opinion.

 

I understand as well , how its hard to think about them and what or who they are doing things with. I was treated badly, lied to and cheated on, so I really understand you. It does get better with time. Try and stay strong and move on with your life.

[Meeky]

Wow, it is like reading my own post! I had a similar day today. I was doing fine the last few days, actually FINDING the anger, and not feeling sad for the first time.

 

Then today, I was thrown back into sadness, wondering what he is doing, how he is feeling, whether he is thinking of me. I even contemplated calling. I so had the same where I thought I desperately wanted him to contact me. He did. I got home tonight and there was an email. Saying how much he misses me and loves me. BUT he is still not willing to change.

 

I am not sure about the leopards and their spots. I think people can change if THEY want to. Not because we want them to, or because someone tells them they have to. It is something they have to figure out for themselves. And it seems, for both me and you, they need to figure that out ALONE.

 

All I can say, and all I am doing, is leaning on my friends, coming to this forum LOTS, and trying to keep telling myself that I DESERVE BETTER. So do you!

[SxcLady]

Hey again goodgirl,

 

and Meeky is right ... YOU DESERVE BETTER. and you will find better. You just need to give it time ... its been 20 days today since you two broke up and youve been doing for 13 days now ... its normal to think about these things and i know its hard to keep your mind off these things. Try playing music when you begin to think of him. music that isnt going to remind you of him. or call some friends and see how they are. Let them know that if you call to "just talk" it means you need to get him off your mind LOL.

And If he realizes the lying has hurt you and hurt others and he feels for you all, he may not lie to another, but you are right in saying a leopard doesnt change their spots. Im sure he will lie to another until he feels the pain that you have or another has. When he realizes how much it hurts ... he might stop. Instead of the saying "once a liar always a liar"(or cheater) i use the saying "twice a liar always a liar"(or cheater). We all need a chance to redeem ourselves in life. its been 13 days. Stay strong and you will get there.

GoodLuck Once Again!

Love SL.

[thegoodgirl04]

Thanks guys for being so supportive! We will all get there, I haven't contacted him, so another day down!