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Single stable, relationship unstable


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Yes, I absolutely feel that way. I recall telling my last boyfriend this early on in our relationship. Being someone's girlfriend always makes my feel vulnerable to being hurt as long as I'm in the relationship. As soon as I became single again after being with him for over two years, I suddenly felt solid again, like I had total control over my time and finances and emotions. When I look back I've always had difficulty juggling my private time and my 'boyfriend time' together. I wish I knew why I was like this.

 

Can you expand on your experience, I am curious what you feel like and if what I described is what you mean.

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yes, I feel the same way. when I'm in a relationship, I'm always questioning if things are going well ....

 

at least when you are on your own, you know what to expect from yourself.

 

maybe we just haven't found the right relationships yet? a relationship that makes us feel more secure than just being on our own.

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Has anyone felt this way.??

 

When i am single, i feel stable.

When i am in a relationship i feel unstable.

 

Your opinions pls

 

You know....BEFORE my current relationship I most DEFINITELY used to feel this way.

 

When I was single, I would be great - my time was my time, I never worried about anything but myself (well, and my family and responsibilities!). I just lived for me. I was confident and sure of myself.

 

And when I was in a relationship, I would get anxious, and worried, and be questioning everything, and wondering how they felt, and if they were angry and constantly unsure. I was always trying to hide my flaws as I felt they would leave for them. I tried to be what I thought they wanted, rather then me.

 

But then...I met my current boyfriend and I instantly felt comfortable. I totally felt accepted for whom I was - quirks and all. I feel secure, safe.....I really have not found a better way to describe it then he feels like home. I have not had any of those anxieties...we have had our rough patches, but there was never any doubts we wanted to be together, and loved one another, never cruel words spoken to each other, I was never left feeling resentful or insecure. Does that make sense?

So...honestly I think sometimes when you feel unstable, it's because you ARE unstable, because your gut is telling you something is amiss. Looking back on those past relationships where I did feel unstable I can see there was a REASON I did - such as the guy was not ready to commit to more, or he was critical of me, things like that. It was not until I found the right one for me, I realized all that was NOT normal, I COULD be me in a relationship and be accepted for it. Just my thoughts anyway.

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Me and my friend discussed this last night we are both in the final year of our degrees when we need to be studying and focused and we both agreed we wish we had of stayed single, even though we love our boyfriends, because life was good, we have good friends, a good job, comfortable finances, our own homes and we are doing a degree ready to further our careers, life was good. all of a sudden along comes man and we fall madly inlove with our respective boyfriends and so now we spend most of our time obsessing about whether they love us, whether they think about their exes whether we are fat, or attractive enough and how much its going to hurt if they leave us!

 

NIGHTMARE! lol!

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well every probably hit the nail on the head.

Being the a relationship just shakes me. I doubt myself , my trust gfactor drops or should i say plummets. i do get jealous but not overly. As long as there is nothing hidden i am fine. I can get overwhelming. iseureties blah blah blah .. as someppl here already say... nutty.

i suppose it is about the right one.

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