i asked him out.. now waiting!

[neolithic]

well, i wrote about this guy a couple posts back.. i'd had a crush on him since the start of school, but i got in a relationship.. anyway, both of our relationships ended and i just started thinking about him again. i pledged to ask him out on a whim to go see this opera on campus with me. anyway..

 

i mentioned this to one of our mutual friends, who sort of expressed concern about the outcome, based on something that had happened at the start (the full story is here)

 

but later that night, he mentioned me, said he'd talked to me that day. the guy started asking about me, saying he hadn't seen me in forever, and to tell me to "come by his room" blah blah blah. this morning he IM'd me..

 

so i IM'd him back just now and asked if he'd like to go see that opera with me. he said he'd call me before monday (the day of the show) and so now i'm just WAITING! i hate not knowing... anyway, just thought i'd give a little update.

 

he's really aloof and all that, i was REALLY surprised by his reaction to me. so.. any advice? i know i need to just sit back and wait but it's hard. also, any date-ish ideas other than the opera? it's one of my favorites.. carmina burana.. so not pretentious or contrived as it might be for me to ask him to some other opera for a first date.. also, he's a music major, he's in a band, he went to art high school, etc.. so i figured it'd be good to do something interesting and maybe cultural first. i'm nervous!! i'm also really nervous about him calling.. phew!!

[annie24]

sorry, he sounds like a jerk. If you asked him out for ice cream and he said, "I'll let you know on monday", that's one thing (still rude though!) However, this is the opera, you have to buy tickets, and you need to know if you are going alone, with a date, or with a friend.

 

I've been in your shoes recently too, where I asked a guy out to a show, he said yes, but then I didn't hear from him. So, the day before, I just said, "obviously, since I haven't heard from you, I'm assuming you are not interested in going." He wrote back, "well, I just don't want to spend $35 for the ticket."

 

Grrrr.... I told him I was offended that he wanted to go, but then changed his mind as soon as he heard $35. To me, that tells me that spending an evening with me is not worth $35.

 

I would just assume that he doesn't want to go with you. Or call him and tell him you need an answer, otherwise, you will make plans to go with someone else.

 

I think if he were really excited about you, he wouldn't have given you such a wishy-washy answer.

 

sorry. just my opinion.

[lucia]

I absolutely agree with you annie 24!

[StarSteel]

Hate to be the devil's advocate, but just to throw another possibility in here:

 

If he's so aloof and such a social misfit, but has been so flirtatious and socially aggressive with you, and then suddenly is acting aloof again... he could just be totally clueless as to how he's supposed to act around girls. Maybe he's shy. In that case, it's definitely a wall you'll have to get past, and that all depends on if you're willing to put in that effort.

[irishwriter]

i applaud your courage--the opera pick--asking him out. with guts you will win something in this world. tell him if the opera is not good for his schedule--your're open to something else artistic he'd like, like an art show--but i would say i dare you have a simple icecream with me first. cause i'm as goodat simple things as complex. i'm 45 southern woman. peace and love, irishwriter

[annie24]

oh, I agree with Irishwriter. Neolithic - you have some real balls! You'll go far in life, with or without this guy

[neolithic]

well, i thought it was a stupid response too, and i was plan on just assuming he wasn't gonna go. anyway, i saw him last night and he explained his dad is coming in town and he doesn't know if it's a lunch or a dinner thing, but he's going to let me know ASAP.

 

i've dated guys like this before.. that try to really keep their stupid indie rock and roll cool, but it'll show every now and then, if they like someone.

 

i'm just gonna see what happens.. i did tell him last night "look, i NEED to know because i'll need to get someone else otherwise," but since it's a family thing (the ex asked me out for his business fraternity banquet thing, but i THINK my family is coming in town and wanting to go visit some neighbors.. i don't know, though, even though he needs to order tickets.. but i have to wait for the fam to decide!), i'll give him a LITTLE leeway. but only a little..

[annie24]

ok, but not too much leeway. you have better stuff to do than sit around and wait while his dad decides if he'd rather go to a pasta place for lunch, or a steak place for dinner

[StarSteel]

Mmm... pasta and steak. A winning combination for the day!