ElektraHere Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 You know sometimes we are given certain things in life that we think "why me?" I believe everything has some sort of meaning. How did I feel afterwards? Honestly I felt relief. Relief that it was done and over with. No more thinking about it, I mean thinking of what to expect. My g/f went with me and I was nervous. They do set you down before the procedure and talk with you to make for certain this is something you want to do. I then went through the procedure and that was that. I was very drowsy that day and I think I cried a lot that day. Your body is going through a change also. I was disappointed in myself for having to choose something like that. I felt like I let my mom down. When I told her i thought she would have hated me but she was very supportive. She didnt like the fact that it was happening but she nonetheless was supportive. I didnt have any sort of regrets or depression afterwards but that was me. I have dealt with depression for over 10 years and I know that it was not a factor in the over all scheme of things. The thing I learned from this is that there are hard choices that no one can make for you but you. I also learned I would not put myself in that position to have to make that call again. If you have at least one good friend that can be a support person for you I would really have that person with you when and if you go to the clinic. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted March 29, 2006 Share Posted March 29, 2006 Elektra has some very wise words for you, Win. I went with my friend shortly after high school when she got an abortion. Her bf was less than supportive and she was not in a place where she could have raised her child- her life would have been over. She cried for the first few days, but mostly she, too, felt relief, that neither she nor this child would have to struggle every day to get by. She does not regret her choice, and 12 years later still feels it was best. No one can make this choice for you, but as Elektra said, know that whatever decision you make, it will have been thought out very carefully and was not just some flip choice. ((HUGS)) Keep us updated. Link to comment
lovecrazy Posted March 30, 2006 Author Share Posted March 30, 2006 My mother asked me to take another test, she got the 2 pack, and it came up negative...so I have no idea what is going on....now I feel like I was over-reacting for no reason...Good Lord... Again thanks everyone for your replies, I am going to make a drs appt tomorrow. See about a blood teat. Link to comment
WildChild Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Good luck Winschica. As often as I have said this, I am a true believer that everything happens for a reason. Meaning if you are not pregnant, something has come to you or out of this experience. I am sorry that your bf has been little to no supportive of you. Let us know how everything turns out. ((HUGS)) Link to comment
lovecrazy Posted March 30, 2006 Author Share Posted March 30, 2006 Good luck Winschica. As often as I have said this, I am a true believer that everything happens for a reason. Meaning if you are not pregnant, something has come to you or out of this experience. I am sorry that your bf has been little to no supportive of you. Let us know how everything turns out. ((HUGS)) Thank you....can you all please move to GA LOL Link to comment
WildChild Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 LOL LOL I am so glad to hear you have your Mom to confide in and support you. Link to comment
southerngirl Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 HI, Im going to jump in here and admit something that very few people in my 'real life' know about. I had a child young. I was 19 and a freshman in college when I got pregnant. Id been with his father for close to three years at that point, and while he said he would allways be there he wasnt. We did get married when I was 21, and the divorce was final when i was 22.. He didnt take care of his son and to this day I have an 8 year old that he has never sent a child support check for. He just walked away. When my son was turning four.. I was a single mom and living on my own working hard and doing what I had to do. I had a boyfriend and yes we were using condoms, but I became pregnant. At that same time I did find out that he had been cheating on me, and when I told him that I was pregnant he accused me of having slept with someone else. He said 'how do I know that its even mine" Well, I knew what it was like already to have one child and not be on welfare with no support from anyone but me. I knew what it was like to have no social life hardly save for the few lucky times I would get to go out on the town. (a very rare occurrence) I knew also that what was best for my existing child was to NOT bring another child into that situation. I had never thought before that I would be in that place. But I was. I went to the clinic and they interview you and talk to you about all of your options.. It was not a chop shop. They have counselors on hand in case you need them afterwords.. I did not. I was sure it was what I wanted to do and while Im not proud of it, I do not regret the decision that I made. Now I have another son age 15 months. I waited to have him until such time as I knew I was ready and stable enough to do it.. Im married to his father and things are going good. Pro-choice is not pro abortion its supporting a woman's right to choose when to bring life into this world. From the very dawn of time woman have known when it is the right time for them. Go with your heart and do what you must do. If that means having the child or not, its a choice only YOU can live with. If its what you really feel you should do, you will llive with that choice. I believe that when a woman is tormented by it forever.... it is because she didnt really want to do it. I just want you to know your not alone and it would not make you a bad person. Im proof that at different times in a woman's life the idea of having a child can and does change. Link to comment
xprincessbugx Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 I agree with everyone on this board, if you feel that you cannot take care of a child, it is best to have an abortion. Some people think that it's not a responsible decision but it makes everything harder. Good luck with your decision and take care. Link to comment
Hope75 Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Wow Winschica, Well that is quite a twist of events- you will have to let us know what happens when you have the blood test at the doctor's office! When will you find out for sure? Link to comment
lovecrazy Posted March 30, 2006 Author Share Posted March 30, 2006 I am going to call today and see if i can get in there Link to comment
Hope75 Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Def. let us know for sure when you find out! Link to comment
lovecrazy Posted March 31, 2006 Author Share Posted March 31, 2006 Well I made the Drs Appt. for next week. Then I also made the appt. for the abortion, just to be on the safe side. I am condsidering going to the ER to confirm the pregnancy, because I am very impatient! Thanks again everyone for your advice! and guidance. It has helped alot! Link to comment
RayKay Posted March 31, 2006 Share Posted March 31, 2006 Well I made the Drs Appt. for next week. Then I also made the appt. for the abortion, just to be on the safe side. I am condsidering going to the ER to confirm the pregnancy, because I am very impatient! Thanks again everyone for your advice! and guidance. It has helped alot! I would be impatient too in that case! If you can go to an ER, there is nothing 'wrong' with that. False negatives occur, but false positives are pretty unlikely, unless in the case of not taking the test correctly. When there IS a false positive, it can often be as someone waited too long to read the results (ie an hour instead of 5-10 minutes). After that long the chemicals that do the reading breakdown and alter the pigments for the "reading". Digital tests can be more accurate to as they give you a clear "Not Pregnant" or "Pregnant" which can be more simple then deciding whether you see a pink line or not! Good luck, and let us know what you find out! Have you talked more to Win yet? How is he doing with it? Link to comment
Hope75 Posted March 31, 2006 Share Posted March 31, 2006 Heck I'm very curious to know what's happening and I am not even the one who might be pregnant! I'd be anxious too. Let us know what happens, ok? As for false negatives, RayKay is right- since the test checks for the hormone Hcg and Hcg levels are high for the first 3 months, and then the placenta takes over and Hcg levels drop- so after 3 months you could have a false negative. I forget when you said you thought it might have happened though. Link to comment
lovecrazy Posted April 3, 2006 Author Share Posted April 3, 2006 Well the first test I took came out positive...then the second set (2 pack) which my mother picked up came up negative...and I took another test in the morning, and it came up positive...MY docs appt is on weds, so I will post up as soon as I know something! Thanks for your support! Link to comment
Hope75 Posted April 3, 2006 Share Posted April 3, 2006 Yes- definitely keep us udated. It sounds as though the tests your mom got might have been defective. Let us know what happens! How has Win been behaving lately? Have you two talked any more about what you might do? Link to comment
lovecrazy Posted April 3, 2006 Author Share Posted April 3, 2006 Yes- definitely keep us udated. It sounds as though the tests your mom got might have been defective. Let us know what happens! How has Win been behaving lately? Have you two talked any more about what you might do? He is being somewhat supportive...buts its like non existent....He isnt that emotional about anything.. He doesnt let things effect it like I do... I guess we both decided that it was a good choice to go ahead and have an abortion, if the pregnancy is confirmed on weds. I just honestly feel like I am alone in this whole thing..Hard to explain it....i say something and we talk about it a minute, then silence, or he changes the subject. I told him I needed him to be there, for the abortion surgery and he said he should be able to do that. But he comes back later on i think 2 days later that he couldnt do it, because someone else requested off for work...And well I asled him to ask anyways. But I know he wont be able to make it. I dont know...I underdtand his job is very important and, he doesnt need to do anything to hurt his good standing there. But I honestly feel like he is trying to avoid dealing with this. I dunno I guess I am just complaining. Blah... We barely talk about it, always me bringing it up. So not sure how you can put that. He is being a good boyfriend, excellenct.Besides this...I mean he has taken me out to eat (barely did that before) and actually is being very nice...But I guess I just feel alone in this whole thing. And it hits at home. Pmsing I guess LOL..We are meeting for lunch in about 45 minutes..so at least we can have a good lunch Link to comment
RayKay Posted April 3, 2006 Share Posted April 3, 2006 Hey Chica, It is probably not that he does not "feel" for the situation, but that he is unsure how to deal with it, or his way of dealing is to distance himself. Not uncommon to see I think. I would suggest if you are pregnant, and go through with the abortion, you BOTH go for some counselling - specifically some post-abortion grief counselling. Let him know you really need him there on that day, and you need his support. Link to comment
lovecrazy Posted April 3, 2006 Author Share Posted April 3, 2006 Thank you RayKay....your advice really helps...That is the way he does alot of things! should I try and talk to him, or give it a break for a few days. Link to comment
hearmeoutPLZ Posted April 4, 2006 Share Posted April 4, 2006 ok, i am on the same boat as you are.... and though i know its NOT right, I do believe its the best choice.. at least for me and what i'm going through.... I am not ready. I feel so alone but oh well.. if u need to talk, I am here.... Link to comment
ElektraHere Posted April 4, 2006 Share Posted April 4, 2006 Gals it may not be right for some people but that is not the case perhaps for you. It is a choice a tough choice I know, I had to make it myself. As much as I want to be a mom at that time I did not want it and with the person I got pregnant by I didnt even know. Do not I repeat do not allow anyone to make you feel bad for your choice whether it is to stay pregnant or to abort. No one will ever know until they walk in those shoes. I dont care how much they have read or researched about the subject until they have had to choose one way or the other it is all just subjective. Not to say anything bad about them that is not my point but everyone is different. I was emotional that day more relieved than anything. The other I think was all the hormones flushing through my body. Do I regret my choice? No Do I think about my choice? Yes everyday. If you would like any other advice or to ask questions please feel free to PM me. Link to comment
lovecrazy Posted April 4, 2006 Author Share Posted April 4, 2006 ok, i am on the same boat as you are.... and though i know its NOT right, I do believe its the best choice.. at least for me and what i'm going through.... I am not ready. I feel so alone but oh well.. if u need to talk, I am here.... Thank you, and if you need to talk just let me know Well for me I think it is the best choice. I know that I am pro-choice...A woman has the right to choose. And I support it. I took the whole weekend off, and I am going to do what Raykay suggested and seek counseling afterwards. And hopefully Win will be able to go with me. But with his work he probably wont be able to! Again thanks everyone for your support. This is hard...but without all of you I believe I can make it through Link to comment
WildChild Posted April 4, 2006 Share Posted April 4, 2006 You have your Dr. appt. today?? Link to comment
lovecrazy Posted April 4, 2006 Author Share Posted April 4, 2006 You have your Dr. appt. today?? its tomorrow at 330 pm! Link to comment
WildChild Posted April 4, 2006 Share Posted April 4, 2006 Oh, yeah, geez...I'm sorry...my days are messed up, I keep thinking today is Wed. Are you still thinking/feeling you may be pregnant? How did yesterday's lunch go, good I hope! Link to comment
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