How many men or women?

[redhook]

How many men here would date a mother of two boys each with a different father? One dad not involved at all, the other involved.

 

How many women on here would date a man with two children from different women. He is involved with both of the children.

 

I am just curious because if my ex and I don't figure things out before or shortly after our son is due we will be facing these issues. It is quite a lot of baggage for someone to give you a chance I think. I believe it will limit our potential suitors substantially. What do you guys think?

[Mrocza]

If the guy is a good and attentive father, I wouldn't hold it against him.

 

If he has "baby momma's" all around the city, chasing him around for child support, I wouldn't give him the time of day.

 

It sucks that the relationships didn;t work out and birth control failed, but you sucked it up and lived up to your responsibility instead of resorting to abortion, right?

[TheLegend]

I don't think I would..

[redhook]

Even though I may find myself in this position, I don't think I could date a women with two kids let alone with two different fathers. I hope the feedback keeps coming.

[TheLegend]

Age is an important factor here as well though..

[monicaa]

I wouldn't... because having two sons means two ex-wifes... too much trouble

[redhook]

I am 29 she is 26

[Momene]

My attitude to this has changed as I've got older. I'm more flexible about situations than I used to be and I have a daughter of my own. I would be worried about someone with a poor track record in relationships, as if I really liked her, I wouldn't want to deal with an increased risk of getting dumped.

 

But then the question said "date", not marry or move in together, so if you date for a while, you can see how well you all adjust.

[Skippy]

What an odd question to ask and especialy at such an odd time. Why are you be asking this question?

what is there to figure out?? to stay together because you might not find a date?? huh.?? (sorry i might sound judgement here but i have to say what an odd question and such an odd time)

 

Anyway, been there done that, only thing i can say is this, you are right, it will limit your potenial suitors substancially. Dated someone with bagguage and i wasnt ready for it.

 

If you think that life is going to be the same as when u didnt have bagguage i going to tell you to wake up.

 

You will have to look out for 3 kinds of people to date in this situation:

1. Users/ abusers (plentiful)

2. someone that is/"has been" in the same situation and understand what you are going thru. (when means they have their own issues)

3. Really understanding and open minded people (rare)

 

So put it simply, you are going to have it tough, but life is funny, sometimes something good just comes along to people in a tough situations and your whole life is changed forever.

 

I dont think that this is a issue that you should be worried about right now IF you are a responsible guy. Your child should be the number one priority, NOT dating. but that is my opinion

[Momene]

Very good point. As someone whose marriage was (and still is to some extent) at a crisis point, the kids must come first. My daughter will be around for me long after anyone I'm likely to date in the future will.

[redhook]

Man it was just a question! No need to be harsh.

[redhook]

I was just wondering because she is not even speaking to me for almost 3 months. I wanted to get a feel for what I am in store for. I am a reasonable man and I realize my child should come first but knowing I am going to have to be a part time dad here I will have plenty of free time to do as I wish.

[Skippy]

redhook,

I am sorry i came accross harsh, but if you read you initial post it is such a shallow question to ask.you didnt even explain you situation you are in. I had to read your other post to get the picture that you are in.

But truth be it, what i said i think is true, i could have put it more tackfully.

I hope that your ex would let to see and build alife with your child.

I hope things work out. It isnt about your ex and you .. focus on how to set things up so u can be in your childs life, after that, date how and what you want.

Just my opinion..again sorry for being so harsh buddy.

[redhook]

I have already spoken to a lawyer and he says wait until the child is born before I do anything. I will have rights and things are going to work out for me being in his life even if she doesn't want them to.