Boyfriend going travelling without me. Should we end it?

[mystik]

He just says stuff. He doesn;t try to hurt people, or say things that are intentionally mean, but he often just blurts things out without thinking. I have learned to grow a tough skin, and just shrug them off. But they still hurt.

 

Wow you sound so much like me. My ex was not a bad, mean, cruel guy. Even before we started having problems though, he would sometimes blurt out random things and I would be hurt. I'd ask him, "why would you say that?" and he would suddenly be so sorry, because he didn't even mean to say anything hurtful. He liked to think he was an honest person. I definitely am not an overly sensitive, high maintenance, nagging type of girlfriend either, so I just let them go - developed a tough skin as you say.

 

Who broke up with who that first time?

 

I also think you are right, don't just take all this advice and go and dump him. Only you know best. You are in this situation and it is you who will be living with whatever decision you make. Just ask yourself what you are really willing to put up with for the rest of your life (?) or what emotional roller coaster ride you are willing to put yourself through while he is away. Whatever you do, don't decide to disregard your feelings and just "put up" with it. I thought I was willing to do that, got terribly hurt, and now realize... I deserve a heck of a lot better. I want more than what I believed I was willing to put up with...it took a heartbreaking experience for me to see it, but now I know. You deserve it to.

[rachaelg]

to anwser your question...he broke up with me the first time....then went on to regret it, and I put him through hell while he was trying to get me back....

 

he finally suceeded. I know he cares about me. I think that I will just sit down and have a talk with him. Ask him, like you said, where he see's us in the future. Ask if he he has plans for us in the summer when he returns...because he isn;t talking like that...he isn't saying anything like "when I get back this summer we should go...." or whatever...but that may just be because he isn;t, like I said, very thoughtful like that.

 

but I agree. I need to ask him if he can honestly see us being together, when he gets back/in the future..

[no_bad_news]

to anwser your question...he broke up with me the first time....then went on to regret it, and I put him through hell while he was trying to get me back....

 

he finally suceeded. I know he cares about me. I think that I will just sit down and have a talk with him. Ask him, like you said, where he see's us in the future. Ask if he he has plans for us in the summer when he returns...because he isn;t talking like that...he isn't saying anything like "when I get back this summer we should go...." or whatever...but that may just be because he isn;t, like I said, very thoughtful like that.

 

but I agree. I need to ask him if he can honestly see us being together, when he gets back/in the future..

 

 

why ask him...speaking from experience..actions speak louder than words......

I would tell him that you what YOU want/expect from a relationship...if he's not being thoughtful..you stop being thoughtful...HE made his mind up to leave.....AND you aren't invited on the trip....he even said he could meet the girl of his dreams...: HE's definetly taking you for granted..like you are going to WAIT from his return ETC.. Honestly, take this opportunity to take back some control of your emotions, and separate for the time he's on the trip...even if you love him.... show him your WORTH.... your actions now are critical to how he perceives the relationship... If he never said those things... about meeting the girl of his dreams....if it was just about the trip... this would be different... BUT it isn't.. he's taking you for granted... I would say, "go on the trip...but we should both take this time to see what we both want...."...and maybe you should take a trip....