Extremely low and it could get worse

[yumblefish]

I feel horrendous at the moment. I'm very lonely. I work and get on with people there, and have one or two good friends outside of work, but that's it really. What's worse is that my relationship with my gf is delicately placed to say the least. If I feel terrible now, I can't begin to imagine how bad I'll feel if I lose her.

 

She says I'm too needy of her, as though there's little else in in my life other than her. Which is for the most part true. But then again, nothing else really feels that important to me.

 

I really don't know what to do. I have so little confidence in myself to go out and meet new people. I know there are groups and things I can join but I just find it very difficult to make that final push to get up and do something about the way I feel.

 

Life is so very hard.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Life IS very hard, you are right.

 

I could sit here and list for you everything you have going for you - friends, ability to get on with people, intelligence, a job, and a girlfriend - but it's not really about that, I guess. I think you are at a turning point here - either you are going to have to help yourself, or you will decline further until someone fircefully intervenes.

 

For the sake of your happiness, Id suggest the first one. Changing your life is very hard, but you dont have to do it all at once. What do you think you could "add" to your life? Just start with headings such as "Spirituality", "Socialising" and "New hobbies/interests" and "Exercising".. and how do you feel about your job?

 

You'll find that as you add layers and more *stuff* into your life, youll feel like a more confident person with more to project, and you will find socialising easier.

 

Would it be possible for you and your gf to get relationship counselling before your relationship becomes more "delicate?"

[Dako]

Do you have sports or hobbies, interests in anything at all other that your gf? Classes, clubs, or even solo adventures can bring something back to the relationship. At times, I've spent time alone cycling or sailing and gotten as much as I would would with others. Make yourself your best friend, and things get better.

[mystik]

You know what you have to do...you just have to go do it!

 

By the way, if your girlfriend has already mentioned you are too needy and dependent on her, it probably means it's become somewhat of an issue. It's a problem in your relationship and I'd suggest listening to her 'warning' and doing something with yourself - quick.

 

It's a win-win situation, you get a life outside of your relationship, and it makes you less needy towards your girlfriend. Some people don't even have gf/bf's! No one's going to make that final push for you, so stop complaining about how hard life is and go do something about it.

[Mrocza]

You just need some me-time to put everything into perspective.

 

Have you thought of seeing a counsellor perhaps to figure out why you feel so low and how to boost your self esteem?

[yumblefish]

Yep, I am already seeing a counsellor - I know I have issues and I'm determined to beat them. You'll be pleased to hear I have taken a step forward this very evening - I've made some enquiries about joining a local group! I feel better already thanks go to mystik - your post really made me sit up and take some action - you're a star

[mystik]

aww thanks yumblefish! I was a little worried that I would come off sounding mean...but I'm glad I helped. I AM very pleased to hear about that! There's a solution to everything, you just have to be willing to work towards it. Keep us updated alright?