How to cope

[brandon_07]

I wasn't really sure where to post this nor am I sure what exactly to say... I'm friends with this girl.. I guess you could say good friends, or at least I hope so. My point for writing is I've known her for a year now and I really like her alot, shes amazing. My problem is she doesn't feel the same. She is interested in someone else. What do I do? Do I stay being her friend even though it hurts me so much knowing she is interested in/with someone else? Do I stop being her friend to try to help me move on? And what if stopping being her friend hurts me to? Is there really any solution? When I figure I'll just totally give up and stop being her friend I just wana cry and be alone and just wish I could stop living life in a way. I don't know. Anyone who can help it would be nice.

[Momene]

Life is too short to spend time on lost causes, which this (I'm sorry to say) is. She's being honest, she likes you but she doesn't feel the fizz the way you do. That may be hard to take (been there, so I know).

 

You just have to treat it almost like a break-up, even though you're not actually together.

[mystik]

hi there. Does your friend know you like her? I can't tell you what's best for you, to either keep being her friend, or not, but I can share my experience with you. When I was in highschool, I also had this problem with a guy I liked, he was probably one of my best guy friends. Everytime he liked someone else, or even dated them, it upset me so much. I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it.

 

I never actually went and told him, but he definitely knew I liked him. The thing is, it was hard to still be his friend at times, but I didn't want to lose him as a friend. So, whenever he was involved with anyone else, I just spent less time with him. The only way you can really not get too hurt is if you keep yourself busy with your other friends. You also have to keep your mind open to other girls - don't start missing out on other opportunities because of this one girl. I know it's hard, I liked my friend for three years, during which he dated many other girls and went to prom with one It was a bit difficult, but I understood he would never like me that way, and I would just have to deal with it. He was too good of a friend to let go though, in spite of the hurt and restless nights thinking about him and various girls.

 

Do you think you could handle being her friend? Maybe don't spend too much time with her, but keep her friendship. But....if it upsets you more to stay friends with her instead of cutting it off, then maybe keeping a stronger distance is best.

 

I know I'm probably not helping much, but I just wanted you to know, that being friends with her can be done. It has been three years since graduation and I am still friends with that guy. I'm glad I didn't cut him off completely even though I wanted to many times. You will get over it! You will start liking other girls, trust me. In a few years you'll be thinking about how you liked her, laughing that you did, be happy with a new girl, and still (hopefully) have her as a good friend.

[vesper]

If you want to have her be part of your life then you have to decide that you are willing to be friends with her. If you decide that you could not handle just being her friend because your feelings for her are too powerful and would ruin the friendship, then you have to move on.

 

It's difficult being friends with people that you want more from, but it certainly can be done...

[timewilltell]

talking from experiance id say run.

 

im friends with this girl. she is my best friend. iv given alot for her. including leaving some of my closest friends (guys) to be with her, because i managed to fool my self in to thinking we could be together.

 

almost a year now we still arnt together and i am constantly diving in and out of depression because of it. but then i still cant bear to leave her.

 

im going to uni next year so not much longer until i get a fresh start. if this were to happen again i would ignor them as much as possible until i found some one else who felt the same way about me.

 

it is possible to be friends with them and hope things will change. but only continue being friends if u can cope with it never changing.

Ben.

[Momene]

talking from experiance id say run.

 

im friends with this girl. she is my best friend. iv given alot for her. including leaving some of my closest friends (guys) to be with her, because i managed to fool my self in to thinking we could be together.

 

almost a year now we still arnt together and i am constantly diving in and out of depression because of it. but then i still cant bear to leave her.

 

im going to uni next year so not much longer until i get a fresh start. if this were to happen again i would ignor them as much as possible until i found some one else who felt the same way about me.

 

it is possible to be friends with them and hope things will change. but only continue being friends if u can cope with it never changing.

Ben.

Agree. That acceptance is hard but has to be done.