He is extremely shy! What should I do?

[Karibo]

Well there's this guy who I've known for years because he was the younger brother of my best friend's (now ex) boyfriend. We never really talked because we didn't know each other that well and we are both shy. I always got the impression that he liked me because he would never look me in the eye but i would sometimes catch him looking at me but I also knew he was extremely shy.

 

A few months ago i bumped into him when i was shopping and I said 'Hi' and he just looked very embarrassed. A few months on I bumped into him in the pub on a night out with my friends and he looked a little drunk and freely came up to me and talked, asking me about our neutral friends and my friend thought he fancied me. A few months later still, we all went to our friends party and he wanted to dance with me but I was with someone else at the time so I declined.

 

Well, the other night I went out with friends again and I could see him staring at me from the other side of the room. Eventually he came up to me (I think he had had a few beers lol) and was asking me how I was, what I was up to and if I was still going out with my ex, which i said no. We chatted for a few minutes then he went off with his friend.

 

About an hour later he came back and was hovering around me then we started to dance. I looked at him every now and then as if to say "If you want to kiss me, here's your chance." I did this several times before he plucked up the courage to do it. We danced and kissed for about twenty minutes then I realised I had to go. He asked me for my phone number, so I gave it to him and he text me that night asking me where i live (because he wasn't sure if i was living at uni or at home). But i am wondering if he was implying hooking up or something that night (he seemed a bit drunk and very forward which is totally out of character).

 

Well, I have a feeling that he is feeling a bit of an idiot for texting me that now because I haven't heard from him since (two days ago lol). Also I know that he is usually incredibly shy and usually can't even look me in the eye. I think this is because he has low confidence and because I am two years older than him (I'm 21). The thing is, he is going travelling for three months in three weeks, and i'm not sure what to do.

 

Should I text him to show that i'm still interested because he might be feeling like an idiot for his message the other night? Will this scare him off because he is soo shy and i might intimidate him? I do really like him because he does seem like a genuine guy and I was thinking about him lots at one stage after I had bumped into him in town that time.

 

What do you think i should do?

 

thanks

[Karibo]

Well I text him last night being quite casual saying, "Hiya how are you? did you have a good time the other night at ****" and he hasn't replied!!!

 

I don't know, I have been getting the impression that he has liked me for so long but now he's not reponding!

 

I'm trying not to clutch at straws but do you think it could be because:

- I'm older?

- or because i don't think he has had much experience with girls and he knows i have been in a three year relationship with his brothers friend a couple of years ago?

- Because he was a bit drunk, he might assume I think he is always that outgoing?

- He's going away for three months in a couple of weeks?

 

(By the way I don't think he has much expereince with girls in general because there is only his father and two brothers because his mother died when he was quite young, and because he went to an all-boys school)

 

I just get the impression that he has low confidence and is possibly thinking, "why does she like me? What do I have to offer her?"

 

I just dunno what to think

[chaos]

Well, he wouldn't make out with you if he wasn't at least a little bit interested. If he's as shy as you say, don't wait around for him. Why don't you ask him out? And if you do go out, go someplace without alcohol... force him to come out of his shell a little bit.

[mystik]

It was only last night that you texted him right? Give him some time to respond. You didn't reply to his text for two days either even though you were interested! From what I gather, you are interested, and he is interested. Just wait it out...and if in a few days you think it's because he's shy, then I'd do what Chaos suggested. Good luck

[smallworld]

Hi Karibo, He's clearly shy and attracted to you, but sadly thinks he needs alcohol to approach you. 10-1 he's embarrassed by how "forward" he was that night and isn't sure what to do now.

 

Please don't beat yourself up wondering why he's not texting. You're doing everything right. Just give him a chance to calm down and respond. If he's as inexperienced as you say, it's likely that contacting you seems very overwhelming to him, particularly if he's afraid of screwing things up.

 

If you see him, just make sure to keep things light, friendly, and casual.

 

PS. I'm shy and it sometimes takes me weeks to respond to email from people I know and love. I'm working on it, but I just wanted you to know that if he isn't responding, it says more about him than it does you. Good luck!

[Karibo]

Thanks guys you have put my mind at rest alot. I think he has gone away travelling now and I asked him to come back and tell me all about it.