Want a jerk to be my pseudo boyfriend.

[natash24]

Hi all,

 

I met this guy and we went out with our group of friends and it ended up at his apartment. well we were both drunk and making out and it got really hot and heavy almost to the point of sex when I asked him to stop and he did but with much resistance. anyways I went outside for a while just to hang out with his other friend and the guy I liked asked my friend if he could kiss her. I don't know what to make of it and I know the guy is a jerk but the thing is I like him and kinda like the fact that he's not going to fall for me. I want to resume a relationship with him with no strings attatched because lately the guys I have been dating want to be serious with me and I can't handle a relationship right now. I am sure I can handle a relationship like that with this new guy.Anyways today I called him on his cell saying that I might have lost my watch at his place and that I know things got crazy but I am cool with it and to call me. Based upon what I have told you and knowing the guy is a jerk do you think he will call? My plan is to like have him as a psuedo-boyfriend . Like have fun with none of the committment. How do I go about doing this? I mean I know it depends if he calls me and all which I am not sure if he will or not . Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[alwaysafraid]

First of all, you may be telling yourself that you want a no strings attached relationship with this guy knowing that is the only way that you can have a relationship with him, hoping that if you do that for awhile he will become less of a jerk and more of real boyfriend material. If you are truly interested in a no strings attached relationship and he is interested in the same then it may work for awhile. But since this is no strings one of you will likely end up with feelings that the other doesn't share and when the relationship ends on of you will get hurt, but if this is what you want that is a risk that you may be willing to take. I don't think that you should take experiences from bad relationships and think that getting into something like this would make you feel better. Look at all sides of the issue and follow what your heart tells you to do, but make sure that it is for the right reasons.

[natash24]

After I left him that message he has not called back so I am thinking that he wants nothing to do with me. How can a girl tell if a guy really likes her or is using her for sex?

[alwaysafraid]

I wouldn't be too worried about the guy not calling you back. Take it as a blessing of saved heart ache. I think in the long run he would just hurt you more anyway. I wish I could give you some advice as to how to know when a guy really likes you or is just using you for sex. I was in love with my ex and we got along very well we enjoyed doing the same things spent holidays with each others families and things seemed so right. After we broke up I heard that he told his new girlfriend (who he dumped me for) that our relationship was based solely on sex. I was devastated because I did not see that at all. We had an incredible relationship and that is how he felt. That said some ways that might clue you in a guy is just using you for sex, when he calls you if it is only after going out with friends. How he treats you when other people are around, if he kind of just blows you off to talk to everyone else he probably isn't too interested. What do you do together outside of sex. How comfortable is he/you about talking about real issues in your life. Obviously there are players who are so good at what they do none of this will apply. In a good relationship it will be about balance the guy will care about what you want and what is important to you and you will feel the same. If you are always doing things for him with no return then it probably is not right. Hope this helps